Grateful for Facebook

I'm grateful for Facebook.  There's that word again:  Grateful, Gratitude, Thankful, Thanksgiving.  I know you are wondering, what the heck?  Yes, I am grateful for Facebook and their gentle reminder that my Military Man's 21st birthday was yesterday and Ladybug's 15th birthday is today.  I am forgetful in my old age.  They say a mom might forget the pain of child birth, but what they don't tell you is that the mom's might forget the birthday's if it weren't for the kindness of the good people at Facebook.

Actually, I could never forget my kids birthday's.  I'm just being funny here.  Happy birthday to my TJ, it was just yesterday you looked like this..

And Ladybug...

I still remember when TJ asked if we could put you back, that he wanted a brother.  

Sibling rivalry!  Yeah, that stuff starts early!  

I'm grateful for the opportunity to be your mother.  

Dieting Breakthrough

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I have an idea for an amazing new diet.  I really think it is going to catch on.  I have been sick for a week and have had no sense of smell or taste.  You want to know what else?  I don't want to eat.  I don't care to because there is no enjoyment.  Chocolate?  Pass, can't taste it...why bother.  Cherry Coke?  Pass on that, too.  The only drawback is that I really could care less about cooking in part due to feeling sick, but who gives a flying flip about cooking if you can't enjoy it.  Bring on the cardboard!

So the idea is some sort of miracle diet supplement that safely represses your sense of taste and smell.  Then voila, everyone loses weight because eating offers no enjoyment.  I know I can be sarcastic, but I am 101% totally on board for this scam, I mean cure.  I mean life is going to be a bit boring, but whatever...

 

National Cheeseburger Day!!

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Just yesterday was National Cheeseburger Day, and today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day.  Over the summer I learned about National Lollipop Day, and I know there are many others.  Here is my question to you...Who comes up with the holidays?  Seriously, because I'd like them to come up with National Please Wear Deodorant Day, or National Be Kind to Other Driver's Day.  Does the President sit back and with the swipe of a pen sign into effect National Don't Step on My Toes or Die Day?

And in case you are wondering, we did indeed celebrate National Cheeseburger Day.  You know I do love Cheeseburgers.  Shiver me timbers, argh......

Birth Stories, WHAT?

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Why do people find it necessary to share their birth stories?  And, why are they all so dang perfect and beautiful?  I'm not sure we even went through the same experience!  I mean seriously, why would I want to relive those torturous hours?  Those hours that truly were the complete opposite of beauty...Hmmm I ask you, Why? WHY?

My first son was an emergency C-Section.  Nothing spells glorious moments as when the nurse is checking your dilation and gooses a baby butt!  My second son was a normal birth, but the pain, oh my hell the pain!  Did you know that because we were military and it was "after hours" our insurance wouldn't cover an Anesthesiologist for non emergencies.  So, no epidural, thanks US Government!  AND, no one told me that I might have bodily functions while pushing that big old baby head out.  What the heck?  Baby number three, Ladybug, was another C-section.  She was a stubborn one like her older brother and was wanting to show the world that cute arse first.  Just sayin'.  You know what they try to do for those breech babies?  TURN THEM!  My doctor was pressing so hard on my stomach that he braced his foot on the wall.  Let's just say, she didn't turn and I had bruises later.  Oh and if they offer you a colon cleanse before hand,  JUST SAY NO!  Those beautiful moments after a C-section include the smell of burning flesh (mine), trying to hold a sweet infant on my chest while I'm numb from toes to chest and concentrating on taking every breath because when you are numb almost to your chest, breathing seems quite difficult.

So, let's cut to the chase...Birthing sucks!  Yes, it is beautiful to bring a life into this world, and I love all my children, but GROSS!!!!  Let's just skip ahead a couple days into the future and we'll go from there...

That is all...Amen

Random Brain Sparks

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• Remember when I told you I needed a little break?  Time sure has flown by, hasn't it?  The first week of school is finished, and we've got 35 more weeks of school to go, so I've been told, but who's counting anyway..
• Summer is slipping away, but my brain sparks are back, at least for now, and I am grateful.
• My daughter proudly exclaimed the other day that I should be a writer.  She was quite impressed with the way I worded something.  I told her I could write, that I write on a blog, but that I just lacked ideas for a book.  She's fourteen, and her taste in authors might not be all that impeccable.  
• My bosses oldest son just left home.  I can totally empathize.  Perhaps we could commiserate together.
• This is the first time in over 4 years that I have the afternoons at home to myself now that the boys are gone and Ladybug is back in school.  
• Also, do not ever try dark chocolate covered Acai berries.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  This point and the one before it may or may not be directly related.  
• The picture above totally answers, well, EVERYTHING.
• My house is clean, AMEN!

Dear Teenage Girl

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Dear Teenage Girl outside my bedroom window, As you loudly whisper after 12:30 am when TJ was home for a visit, it was not his bedroom it was mine.  As you peered through my living room window, you quickly attained creeper status.

Dear Teenage Girl's Mother, who drove her teenage daughter over to my house after midnight to peer in my windows and call to TJ outside my bedroom trying to get the attention of my 20 year old Air Force son,

What the heck were you thinking??!!

I quickly texted TJ letting him know he had visitors since I was not necessarily dressed to receive company and with eyes looking in the windows a text seemed most discreet.  He said that he was in bed and trying to sleep and to tell them to go away.  With a sigh, I just ignored them, climbed back in bed and eventually I heard the engine rev and mama in her SUV with her 15 and 17 year old daughters sped away.  

No Joke, this really happened.  You would not believe the peace and quiet that has prevailed at my home and the solid nights sleep I have had since my sons have left.  In two years Ladybug can date, then it will be teenage boys peering in my windows.  But, then I'll send her daddy...

Moments of Emotion

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Do you know that when I am experiencing high levels of emotion, I think I am a better writer?  I don't know why that is, and maybe I'm the only one who thinks it.  But when I'm wrapped up in something that seems to evoke a lot of emotion from me, which is quite difficult by the way, then I feel like I need to express it in my writing.

Otherwise, it seems like my writing style tends to lend itself more to the snarky side.  Being married to KT makes me an expert in sarcasm and offhanded witticism.  What I would like to learn as a developing writer is how to capture emotions and thoughts even when I'm not feeling them all the way to my toes.  And, that's no easy feat.

I feel like Miguel's impending departure has drawn some writing out of me that I might not have expressed otherwise.  Like when I wrote about Pressing Submit, Thirty Two Steps and Part Two.  OR, even Mother's Day.  

(And just so you know, extreme emotions just aren't my thing.  I don't necessarily want to seek it out, to live it and then express it.  I just want to learn how to express and avoid the whole feelings thing altogether.  Yes, I am my husbands wife.)

This is 2busy checking out...I will resume blogging once I see my two sons off at the airport.  What a sad day that will be...

Karma

I believe in Karma, I truly do, and to show you that I'm not self conscious, 
AT ALL, I'm going to tell you a little story...about me...
and WHY I believe in Karma

In the year of our Lord 2012 in the Month of May, I went to the softball fields to watch my dear husband, KT, play.  Whilst rounding the bases during said baseball game, KT fell quite hard TWICE.  After ascertaining that his injuries were not serious, life threatening or otherwise incapacitating, I teased him.  I mean, I am a loving wife but I tease him unmercifully!  I teased him about his age and possibly needing a walker if he kept THAT kind of base running up.

Once upon a time two weeks later, I was walking to the main office at work.  You see I work in a school, I work in the High School Office, and was taking a leisurely trip to the Main Office to make a transfer of paperwork.  On this particular bright, sunny day as I opened the door and crossed the thresh hold into the lovely office, I biffed it.  When I say I biffed it, I biffed it good and hard!  My shoe caught in the mat by the door, and I went down like a tree.  BOOM!  UMPH!  People jumped up to see if I was okay, but I was faster.  It was like I was in a movie that beloved day, I jumped up and said "I'm okay!"  with my hands thrown in the air.  I was trying to be comedic, I guess, though my pride was a little wounded.  You see there were parents standing in the office, the main office secretary and of course our Administrator was in her office having a meeting with three other people, as well.  I think I provided that day's entertainment.  And to prove to you that I can laugh at my own expense, I am retelling this lovely tale, with pictures of my experience with KARMA.  She's a mean one, that Karma...

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**No one was injured in the production of this blog post, 

except for a small scrape on my arm and my bruised ego.  
Well, and KT's scabby knee, but this one is about me**

The Promised Land, NOT!

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I warn you in advance, that I may offend some of my Utah friends, but this needs to be said....We made a quick trip down to Utah to meet up with Military Man for the weekend who traveled up from New Mexico.  Now if you know anything about Mormons, the Church is headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It is a Mecca of sorts for the people of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Most members at some point make it to Salt Lake to see Temple Square and to immerse themselves in learning the Church History through the many museums and such.  We drove 4 1/2 hours down there.  It was a lovely drive for us until we hit the outlying towns of Salt Lake.

Flip people!  What is up with your traffic?  Seriously going 100 mph and weaving in and out of traffic is not okay.  I'm not just talking about one particular driver, there were MANY!  Tailgating our car at 80 mph in bumper to bumper traffic is not okay, either. Just because you think you know where you are going in the afterlife doesn't mean the rest of us want to get there any faster.  I enjoy my family and my life here as God has intended.  Let me enjoy it a little bit longer, please.

KT asked me if I wanted to drive at one point, my answer was a hearty "HECK NO!"  It is fine to go down and visit, but would I EVER want to live there?  "NO FREAKING WAY!" Seriously people, if I had to deal with that traffic on a daily basis, I would be on mega doses of anti depressants. Can you spell serious doses of S-T-R-E-S-S?

You an keep you Promised Land and I'll keep mine.  

Besides, one less car on the road in Utah is one less car contributing to your traffic.   

Runner Up

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KT mentioned the other day that he wanted a "Trophy Wife".  Really, dear?  Well, I want an Adonis!  He likes to tease me, and he talks a lot of hot air, so I just ignored him.  But it stayed with me, and I mulled it over, and it mutated and festered...I stay fit, I wear clothes that aren't considered "frumpy", I take care of my hair and skin and for 42,  I don't think look TOO bad.  So later I told him he DID have a trophy wife, while I was changing and naked by the way....And he just looked at me raised his eyebrow and hesitated.

HE HESITATED!

H - E - S - I - T - A - T - E - D ! ! !  

His hesitation spoke volumes, dictionaries, encyclopedias I tell you! Then he looked at me and said, "Well you are the hottest 42 year old I know.............Wait!  Does that include Jennifer Aniston?"  So you see peeps, I am a runner up to Jennifer Aniston, and you know what?

That's okay cuz she is fetchin' hot.

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Anti - Valentine's Day

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This is the post where I go all Loco about Valentine's Day. It's a nice holiday and all, but its not for me. It's mostly commercial, and as my dear husband has pointed out before, "Every day is like Valentine's Day when you live with him." That used to bug the crap out of me, but you know I totally get it. If we can't be nice and do kind things for each other 364 days out of the year, then that one day, Valentine's Day, isn't really going to make any difference even if Hallmark tells us to... I'm not completely anti, I do buy my kids a treat and a card.

Once upon a time, I was fairly romantic. Yes, it's true. Crazy, right? I used to be creative about dates, and would write love notes and poems. After I got married, I wanted to carry on the same type of creative romantic traditions. After we were married a month, I cooked a romantic candlelit dinner. You know to celebrate one month. I was excited, this was special. But my dear husband didn't get it...He said, "Are you going to do this EVERY month we are married?" He was young (23) and immature, but it was then that I realized he didn't really care about all the extra fluff. All that effort I went through was not appreciated in the way I had hoped. After getting over the hurt, I realized it was not his love language, and over the years, it is no longer my love language either.

KT asked me the other day what I wanted for Valentine's Day, I guess he is trying to go all romantic on me after all these years, but I told him, if you have to ask, then don't bother. My love languages, are service, time and touch. I think he has a lot more work cut out for him than buying me a simple gift...

And if you want to read a Valentine's Facebook exchange between KT and I last year, you can read it here...Because what spells romance more than Facebook?

 

Where the FETCH did my tickets go?

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Today I am going to the Brad Paisley concert here in Idaho. Yep, Brad Paisley. Last time I went I was able to go for FREE. I won tickets from the radio station WOW104.3.  Do you like FREE?  Yeah, me too.  Well, this time I charged $350 worth of tickets.  I'm taking Ladybug, KT and going with a couple of friends who have already paid me.  I purchased these floor tickets before Christmas and they were e-mailed to my account.  I decided they were far safer in  my e-mail than printing them out and losing them over all the chaos that is Christmas. 

Several weeks ago, I decided to print out those lovely tickets.  And guess what?  They were no where to be found.  I had NO tickets!  Zilch, NADA, disappeared from my e-mail, and I was FREAKING OUT!!!  Luckily, I didn't freak out too long.  I called the Idaho Center who informed me that they keep records of all transactions and they quickly put the tickets in the mail to me.  They were  my favorite people that day, yep...Now I have them in my grubby little hands. 

WHAT KIND OF MORON DELETES $350

WORTH OF CONCERT TICKETS?

Ummmm, that would be ME

Today I'm Flipping the Bird

I know what your thinking, and you're wrong.  I'm not flipping the angry birds, I'm just flipping the bird on this holiday.  Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas.  I truly do...I love our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, getting together with family and all the treats.  But everything has become so ostentatious over the years.  I have such high expectations for myself and I never measure up.

When I was growing up, my mom put on the most magical Christmases.  The decorations, beautiful treats and goodies, gorgeous wrapped packages...Ahhh!!!!  She was the quintessential Martha Stewart of Christmases.  She worked really hard to create perfect memories for our childhood.    But that's the problem....Everything was perfect, and what ended up happening was I create unrealistic expectations for myself.  I often feel like Clark Griswald in Christmas Vacation.  What I probably didn't realize is the sleepless nights my mom stayed up making those gorgeous decorations and treats, I like my sleep.  She also didn't work outside the home, I do...So I know all this, but I still feel like I am never good enough.  

I read once on a Mormon Mommy Site that this one family gave each child three gifts to represent the three gifts of the wise men.  No over the top gift giving, no day long present orgy.  Just several precious gifts.  I tried that this year with my kids...And you know what?  They were happy!  They didn't feel slighted in the least.  I didn't spend endless hours making treats.  We had birthday cake for Jesus, went to Church and then hung out in Jammies all day...And Christmas dinner?  Potato Soup, rolls and salad.  

So I am flipping the bird on Christmas traditions and making my own carefree, no expectations Christmas...And I think my daughter will thank me...

Mele Kalikimaka from Idaho

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I would be a little remiss if I didn't mention the fact that I LOVE snow at Christmas time. Unfortunately, it has been greatly lacking in my neck of the woods. Let it be known that I live for sunshine. It completes me, warms my soul and brings me muchas happiness, but there is something about Christmas that just calls for snow. Maybe it is because I grew up in Colorado and snow was a beautiful way of life.

I spent a few Christmases in Hawaii, I know boo hoo, but seriously, Mele Kalikimaka did not mean Christmas to me. (It certainly didn't Jingle my Bells).  And lately, due to the Sunshine and lack of snow, I am in the mood to don a grass skirt and start singing Mele Kalikimaka instead of It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas.

Ladybug has been invited to a birthday party today.  They are going tubing.  My first question, "WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT?"  Apparently a few hours up into the mountains there is a place that is making snow.  Good times, she'll have fun.  Which made me start thinking that I should break out my snow cone maker and spread that lovely white stuff around the yard.....Make my own snow.  You know, to attain that White Christmas look. (I just won't add any yellow flavoring.  Mom always said, 'don't eat yellow snow...')

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

A Christmas Letter Misunderstanding

I recently sent out my Christmas Cards and the dreaded Christmas letter. If you have been a regular reader for a while, you will know my true feelings about Christmas letters, yet, I participated in this cheesy tradition myself.

Unfortunately, my Christmas letter has been misunderstood by even the closest members of my extended family. A depressed mama as opposed to the snarky narcissist I was aiming for. Let's see if my own blogging buddies understand me and my personality a little better than my own familia. Some people just take life a little too seriously. Just sayin'...Love ya my peeps!

‘Tis the Season to be Jolly…..OR NOT!!!

2011 Has been a season of change, and let’s face it, change STINKS!

TJ joined the Air Force in March, because what child doesn’t want to enter the pits of hell with an MTI to be your mama and daddy for two months?  We were able to go down to San Antonio in May to see his graduation.  He is currently living in New Mexico.

Miguel graduated from Rocky Mountain HighSchool.  Holy Crap!  Two down one to go, AND he plans to leave in about six months to serve a two year Church service mission.  He makes us laugh continually and is often mistaken for Justin Bieber.  (Shhhh, don’t tell anybody)

Ladybug continues to grace our lives with her sweet disposition, kindness and beauty.  And to be honest, I think, with her love of sports, she is the son her daddy always wanted…

Softball, basketball, football.  

KT continues to work hard at Micron providing for our family as an Equipment Engineer.  He is currently working with the Boy Scouts at Church and does psychotic things like camping in December and ice fishing.  I never said he was a Rocket Scientist.

I continue to try to find humor in life even when things become difficult,

Like kids moving out and graduating.  

Despite life’s ups and downs, I haven’t ONE gray hair or ONE wrinkle. 

Nope, not one at all and THAT’S A FACT!

PS…KT says I am supposed to say that he is the perfect husband.

Merry Christmas and BAH Humbug

While Sitting on the Toilet...

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I bet that got your attention. Yeah, It got mine too. Like the other day, while I was visiting with the porcelain God, there was this loud pounding on my door. Ladybug answered it, unfortunately, and it was angry neighbors. Neighbors that were angry that my 18 year old was driving through the neighborhood at 25. Wait, isn't that the speed limit? Moot point!

Whilst I was sitting, I heard this yelling from my front door. I figured I couldn't leave my 13 year old hanging and putting up with strangers, so I walk to the front door and say, "Why are you yelling at my daughter?" Then these guys turn on me and proceed to teach me a lesson on morals. Turns out Ladybug knew where I was and when these angry dudes asked for me she told them I wasn't home since she didn't want to embarrass me on the crapper and all.

I proceeded to get a very lengthy LOUD lecture on how my kids are out of control and I'm a bad parent. You know...my lying 13 year old and my speed limit driving son (who does happen to thump very loudly with his bass). But, does that seriously make me a bad parent? Did they need to continue shouting at me till I cried? So condescending!

Enter here, KT, AKA Bulldog (he was a Marine) I called him crying whilst he was at a scout service project (You know we are the evil, bad neighbors). He came home fuming that someone would have the audacity to yell at his little girl (and the love of his life, ME). So, yeah, he marched down there and had some pretty loud words. So loud in fact, the neighbors wife called the cops. Interestingly it didn't bother her one bit that her husband yelled at a little girl. (Which by the way, should be illegal. Just sayin')

In case you were wondering...
We are now the neighborhood white trash. 

But at least I know KT's got my back.

A Retraction

A retraction is necessary on this day in history, well it is probably over due. KT has been hounding me for a public apology for this post for quite some time.  Let it hereto henceforth be known that I am having an affair.  I'm sorry, it's true!  It's pretty Mickey Mouse if you ask me...Very innocent, but I can't seem to stop.  I have traded in this:

this:

 and this:

For this:

 
YEAH BABY!

Mormon Mommy Blog

I have a confession to make.... 

I am a Mormon Mommy Blogger. 

If you are a usual follower you may have already figured that out, but I just thought I'd make that confession.  I am actually closer to a Mormon Empty Nester Blogger, but hey, I'm still a Mommy.  I'm even part of a community called.......

wait for it....... 

wait for it........

Mormon Mommy Blogs.  Shocker, right?!

I recently read an online article about a Non Mormon Feminist, Emily Matchar, and her take on Mormon Mommy Bloggers. I was actually quite impressed by her insight, understanding and acceptance. But, then I read the comments, and Gag me! I hate mean people. Seriously. So I stopped reading those nasty comments.

A good many of those comments related to Polygamy and how the Mormon Mommy Bloggers are not telling the full story.  That we are secretly part of polygamist families and just not telling you.  The LDS church does not believe in nor practice polygamy.  I have one husband and he has one wife (ME).  Even members of my own family have made comments about us being polygamists, cultist, pagans and members of a colony?  Say what?  I hope that the way I live and act is an example of my true lifestyle.

I have to admit I have a small list of reasons 

WHY I don't make a good Mormon despite my strong convictions in my 

Church and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

1.  I do not can fruits, vegetables or anything like unto it.  

I canned freezer jam once, and I still have a bunch.  

Somehow my family prefers Smuckers.

2.  I barely garden

3.  Sewing?  Yeah right! Give me a freaking staple gun.
That's more like it...

4.  I have an addiction to Diet Cherry Pepsi

5.  I have piercings

6.  I have a love of beautiful tattoos.

7. I use expressive words that may or may not be offensive.

See?  We are not perfect nor profess to be.  

Mormon Mommy Bloggers are pegged as being perfect, eternal optimists with their "nothing goes wrong" attitudes.  And that is simply not true.  Well, some of us like to paint rosier pictures than others, but I would say that we choose to focus on the positives in our lives.  That is what makes us happier in the long run.  Just ask Oprah...I've done my share of complaining on my blog.  Holy Flippin' Fetch?  Seriously!  I have...

Like when my oldest son, TJ,  left home and joined the Air Force.

When my husband took a group of scouts  

camping on our Anniversary

I've complained about being 2busy 

(which by the way is slowing down now)

Car trouble here, here, and quite possibly here.

There are so many more.  Just try looking under my label Sarcasm

So the point is, we are normal people, leading normal lives, not everything is perfect all the time, but we try to be happy and cheerful.

If you are interested in what we believe 

and not the often times drivel
put out by people who profess to know, 

you could go here.  

Or you can read some things I have written here.  or here.

My life is an open book or blog.  Truly...

Travel Diaries #3

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Remember when I told you about our little suitcase fiasco? Well, upon leaving the hotel. KT left me with all the bags at the front desk of the hotel to check out while he went to get the car. If you haven't noticed already, I am a little sassy. I can be a stinker sometimes. Shocker! Right? Well, check out truly only took a few seconds. I looked at my bags and his suit case, and I proceeded to leave it right there in the lobby. Payback, baby, payback...I wonder if he ever regrets marrying me and all my sass. Just sayin'

Travel Diaries #1

Travel Diaries #2

Travel Diaries #2

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I have a love/hate relationship with technology. First of all, I am completely inept. I did post once about it here. I am the navigator on trips. It is the job that falls on the person sitting in the passenger side of the vehicle. No one else is brave enough to take that seat. It's true. I'm the only one. So, back in the day when we would travel, I would have a map spread out across my lap dictating to KT every turn we should make. I didn't do a bad job, if I do say so myself. I got us all the way across the country twice without getting us lost.  Yeah, I'm good...KT's biggest pet peeve, though,  was if I held the map up for other drivers to see. It would upset him. He didn't want people to know we were "tourists, visitors, IDIOTS". Have you ever tried to hold a large map down low on your lap in a car. Yeah not easy...

You can imagine my pleasure with the thought of using a GPS for more recent trips, but alas, said navigator is technologically inept. I'm sure KT won't argue with that. So first, I have to figure out how to turn on the GPS in the multipurpose handy dandy iPhone. If I happened to accomplish that difficult feat, then I have to repeat word for word, mind you, what the navigator lady says. Like he can't hear it! Then, he wants to know what's coming next. Well, sometimes GPS lady doesn't give too much notice. Not much more than "Turn right in 200 feet", by that time, sometimes we've missed the turn.

What's even better is when GPS loses the signal and I have to hold the unit up to the window trying to get a stronger signal. Searching the sky with my eyes like I can visually find it.  What happened to not showing anyone the map so they don't know we are a tourist?

Beam me up Scotty...

Travel Diaries #1 Here