Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Anti - Valentine's Day

This is the post where I go all Loco about Valentine's Day. It's a nice holiday and all, but its not for me. It's mostly commercial, and as my dear husband has pointed out before, "Every day is like Valentine's Day when you live with him." That used to bug the crap out of me, but you know I totally get it. If we can't be nice and do kind things for each other 364 days out of the year, then that one day, Valentine's Day, isn't really going to make any difference even if Hallmark tells us to... I'm not completely anti, I do buy my kids a treat and a card.

Once upon a time, I was fairly romantic. Yes, it's true. Crazy, right? I used to be creative about dates, and would write love notes and poems. After I got married, I wanted to carry on the same type of creative romantic traditions. After we were married a month, I cooked a romantic candlelit dinner. You know to celebrate one month. I was excited, this was special. But my dear husband didn't get it...He said, "Are you going to do this EVERY month we are married?" He was young (23) and immature, but it was then that I realized he didn't really care about all the extra fluff. All that effort I went through was not appreciated in the way I had hoped. After getting over the hurt, I realized it was not his love language, and over the years, it is no longer my love language either.

KT asked me the other day what I wanted for Valentine's Day, I guess he is trying to go all romantic on me after all these years, but I told him, if you have to ask, then don't bother. My love languages, are service, time and touch. I think he has a lot more work cut out for him than buying me a simple gift...

And if you want to read a Valentine's Facebook exchange between KT and I last year, you can read it here...Because what spells romance more than Facebook?



  1. I got my hubby candy, and his response, "Now do I have to get you something?"

  2. I'm with you on the, "if you have to ask, don't bother." I don't even mind sometimes telling him what I would like or expect for a certain holiday, but for some reason if he asks me, it ruins it. Hope you have a nice, every-day, Valentine's.

  3. I love to hear how your love language has evolved over the years. I'm with you on the asking thing. It just takes any type of sentiment out of the gift.

  4. I really agree that if they have to ask they won't get it right. My husband kept being all apologetic as he was taking me out and buying me the chocolate I wanted as if it weren't enough. I think men feel a lot of pressure but really if a wife is pretty much happy every single day of the year then I don't think a man has to do much on Valentine's day to make her happy. Basically, if I can buy whatever I want the rest of the year, if he takes me out to eat a lot, if he spends a lot of time with me on a regular basis and takes me on vacations and the kids on vacations then I'm pretty happy all the time! LOL. Not high maintenance or anything. You were smart to realize early on what your husband did and did not appreciate.

  5. I love Vday! Mostly I just love an excuse to buy candy and make treats for the neighbors (not that you NEED an excuse...)

  6. We feel that Valentines day is pretty much the most useless holiday ever created. Also, I am so sick of single people feeling justified in being ultra cranky for that day because they can't get their crap together and be happy. (yes, I may know way too many people like that...)

    VD is just another day in our home. (not vd - venerial disease... heh heh)

  7. "if you have to ask, then don't bother"

    I have to disagree with that big time. If you are asking it means you want to know what they want, you want to make them happy, you want to make sure it isn't a waste.

    Have you never had to ask someone what you could do to help them? The most common home teaching/visiting teaching phrase is "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you." That's asking what you can get someone.

    We absolutely love Amazon wish lists. If you get either of us something off our lists we'll be beyond happy about it.

    Asking what you can do for someone does not mean you don't care.


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