Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Letters to KT #1

Dear KT,

You left me this morning for an exotic vacay with our darling Ladybug. I guess if you call St. Louis exotic, then it is what it is. I must say that, though I'm not completely alone here, I FEEL completely alone. Teenage boys just do not pay any attention to their mother. Seriously! Unless, of course, they are hungry or in need fresh laundry. Otherwise, nada...Besides you, Ladybug is the only one who pays attention to me. Isn't it sad that I have to find validation through my children?

While you are visiting family and hanging out with your sick dad in the hospital, I guess I will fill my days with HGTV, reading, chocolate and perhaps a home improvement project or two. I promise not to spend too much money. Really, pinky swear...

Monday, March 29, 2010

Most Used Card

I have two very well used cards in my wallet.  One is my debit card, I mean who writes checks anymore? It is so annoying when you stand in line at the grocery store behind someone who actually writes a check. When debit cards first came out, KT was upset and said we were becoming a cashless society.  Boy was he right!  I never have cash anymore!  But that could be due to the fact that I have teenagers.  Anyway, beside the point, the second most used card in my wallet is my library card.

I love a good trip to the library.  I could peruse for hours.  I love the quiet hush, and the allure of the well stocked shelves.  The crinkly books beckon to me.  I am entranced by historical fiction, historical romance, mystery, murder, drama and thrillers.  There is so much adventure just awaiting the turn of the first page.  Adventures I wouldn't dare live out in real life but live vicariously through these well written authors.  I have tried to instill this love of reading in my children.  I read them classics when they were young and some not so classic books.  We took trips to the library for story hour and to check out our own stack of adventures.

TJ was reading Harry Potter in 2nd grade.  He got frustrated with my reading it to them, and he took it and finished it on his own.  TJ doesn't enjoy reading anymore.  As he is nearly graduated, I kind of blame the loss of interest in reading on the school system...All that assigned boring, dry material...It kind of takes the fun out of it. 

Miguel, doesn't like to read so much.  He had a rough go of it with tracking issues and, let's face it, ADHD.  He was always one to be read to or a book on tape.

Ladybug, though is a girl after my own heart.  She could spend hours up in her room with a good book.  With all the boys gone this weekend at one thing or another, she and I both curled up in bed together Saturday morning reading.  It is amazing how fast time flies when you are so engrossed.  She brings home those sweet newspaper scented book orders from school with near everything circled. 

Do you enjoy reading?  Do you go to the library, too?  What is your most used card?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ah Spring Break!

Today is the first official day of Spring break. Do you hear my big sigh of relief? I love my job, I really do...But, I've never grown out of my need for Christmas, Spring and Summer break. That's why I work at a school. It suits me...I love having the quandary of "What am I going to do today?" I head into my breaks thinking I have all this time in the world as I think of all the relaxing I am going to do. Unfortunately, life has a way of taking over, doesn't it?

I did a little sprucing up here recently...Spring cleaning if you will.  Do you like the new layout?  Gotta keep things fresh, you know...

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Weirdest Thing...

The weirdest thing happened the other day while driving home from work. A beautiful white dove swooped down and landed on the trunk of the car in front of me and just hung out. That in itself was odd to me, but when I turned the corner, he left that trunk to follow me. He followed me right along where my passenger mirror is a least a mile to the next stop sign. The dove then swooped down in front of the car, I thought for a moment that he was going to turn with me but he continued on down the road. The whole while, I was driving and digging in my purse to find my cell phone to take a picture, all the while trying not to swerve and hit the bird. Unfortunately, I didn't get that picture. Any symbolism behind being followed home by a white dove?   It was just the weirdest thing...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


"Happiness depends more on the 
inward disposition of mind  
than on outward circumstances."
~Benjamin Franklin~

This reminds me to always look inside myself for peace and happiness.  Worldly things and amusements only bring temporary happiness, nothing lasting. 

Monday, March 22, 2010

Have you noticed the light?

Source:  ME

Have you noticed the way the light has been falling recently? Shadows are shorter, the sun is brighter. Temps are getting warmer, more comfortable...I have opened up my windows for a good airing out...Before the dreaded daylight savings time, I was even driving to work wearing my sunglasses. I have since reverted to driving in the dark again, but I know when I get back from Spring Break the glorious sun will be there to greet me in the mornings again. I love the spring and summer. Something comes alive in me...I have more energy and creativity. I feel like I have come alive, been reborn...

How about you?

Friday, March 19, 2010

An open love letter

Cut backs are every where. It is just the way things are dealt with in this economy. I work in the educational system and cutbacks are hitting for the second year in a row. Rumor has it that next year there will be even more. There isn't much left to cut! To me, cutting education makes no sense, because we are not investing in our children and our futures. But, I've said it, it's out there, I'm done....Work has been difficult. Jobs are being cut, friends will be having to leave. I know this is no different than in any other field.  We, as employees, were asked for our input, to rate the electives...To choose a different model for the school. It felt like having to choose between friends. I didn't like it. So I am hereto writing an open love letter to our economy.

Dear Economy:

When you were strong, you were so attractive.  I really got excited when things were going well.  I was content and happy in our relationship.  I feel like things have been strained recently between us.  What can I say?  I miss the old us...I'm really tired of seeing good friends lose their jobs. It kind of sucks! I'm tired of driving through a neighborhood and noticing so many foreclosure homes. It's really sad and feels like a ghost town around here. Where is everyone going? I'm tired of living the life of a roller coaster the ups and downs and twists and turns. Quite frankly, I'm beginning to feel a little nauseous. What are you trying to prove?  Can't we just go back to the way things were, you know, before?

Just to set the record straight, I want to thank you, economy, for my job and my husbands job. I know we have been truly blessed. But, if you feel an inkling to improve A LOT, that would certainly be alright with me...I miss you!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Reinventing Myself

I've been on a hiatus as of late...Did you miss me?  I know you did...I've been on a mission of self discovery and have had thoughts of reinventing myself or my blog....I did that once as a teenager.  I thought I was a totally boring individual.  I tended to be on the more quiet, shy side...Let's face it, quite and shy just does not get attention.  I tried to emulate the behaviors of a good friend.  She was outgoing and funny.  She made people smile and laugh.  I wanted to be her!  I tried, I failed, I am me...

The same kind of quandary has presented itself to me in recent weeks.  As my follower numbers began to soar, the number of blogs I follow began to climb as well.  It's just science...But the information overload made me analyze my place in this blogging world.  What do I write that will be funny and witty?  What do I do to make people smile and laugh?  Otherwise, I am just wasting your time...But wait!  This is my blog...I reminded myself that I am writing for me and possibly my posterity.  I love that I have followers and people who want to comment, but ultimately it is all mine...You know?  So I am giving the whole thumbs down to reinventing myself and my blog.  I would still love to be funnier and wittier, but I am me and I accept that...I hope you will, too, as you continue to visit.

Much ♥

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Dear Friends:

I am going on a fabulous blogging vacation! Not in the physical sense more of the mental sense. You know, it is kind of hard coming up with something witty and fun for every post. The pressure is really getting to me! As my numbers climb, I feel more pressure to perform. Don't get me wrong, I am excited and grateful for all my new followers. I just think it is time for a mental break. A time to recollect, rediscover and come up with some dang good posts. Bear with me...

See you soon!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Irreverent Sundays

When I was a young mother, I had to go to church by myself. I remember being 7, 8, 9 months pregnant and trying to deal with a 12, 13 and 14 month old TJ in church. He was busy and wanted to squirm around on the floor. Bending over to get him was most difficult when he misbehaved. My boys got their training young on irreverence.

As they got older, I tried to contain them. I would take one out of church who was acting up. I didn't let him run around and play like the other kids, no, that would be a reward. I would sit and hold him tight while he struggled to get away. A sweat would break out of my forehead while trying so hard to teach my boys to sit still and listen. I would often wonder what in the world I was doing there. I received no spiritual fill with a toddler squirming and making noises in my arms.

Thankfully, KT started attending with me when the boys were toddlers. But, that almost made things worse. Now I had three boys to contain! I remember one time sitting in church I was holding onto Miguel as he tried leaning toward the bench of people behind us. He was a heavy little bugger. With some bad timing on my part, I bent over to pick up a dropped toy just as little Miguel went in for the lunge. Without my arm across his back holding on to him, he flew into the bench of people behind us hitting his head and ultimately landing on the ground. If you know Miguel, you'll understand...

Now, years later, rolling my eyes, I still wonder what I am doing sitting there in church. What am I getting out of a meeting besides adventures in gummy bears, paper air planes, sticking thumb tacks under their skin, changing the words of hymns while singing...Oh, and if you haven't had an old man gnaw on your knee during church, you need to come sit with me! This is what I consider my ultimate failure as a mother. Respect for the Lord in his House. But, maybe I can just blame it on KT.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Ladybug is 12!

My sweet little baby is 12! I can't believe it! In the LDS church, twelve can be quite the milestone. You are no longer with the children in primary at church, but you move up with the teenagers to learn more about Jesus Christ and become a righteous well developed young woman. Ladybug is truly a joy and a blessing in our lives. She is always happy and helpful. I might be her mother and she might be my daughter, but she is turning into my friend, as well. We like to craft, read, cook, watch movies and go shopping together.

Over the years I've had many people tell me that she looks like a certain movie star. Very flattering! I never saw it until I looked at the back of a movie box and saw this picture.  Definitely very similar...I see similarities in the eyes and nose.  I never noticed it until I had several people point it out...

Do you see it too?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

TJ is 18!

Photo by Austin Lara

An adult you might be, but you will always be that fresh new baby in my arms...
And when I look at you and your goofy smile, this is still what I see...
Happy Birthday!  
You make me proud...

**Does this officially mean I am old?**

Tuesday, March 2, 2010



The other day I had to work full time.  FULL TIME!! How does a woman do it?  I really admire the women who work full time, care for children and keep up their homes.  I enjoy my job, there is no doubt about that, but full time?  I don't know if I have what it takes to be that kind of mom.  I'm no superwoman, you know.  I found my self worrying about the endless loads of laundry that needed doing, the grocery store that needed shopping and the dinner I would cook.  Dinner? HA!  They'd be lucky if they got PBJ's.  I would have to be seriously organized to do this everyday, and I am just too scattered for that!  I don't like chaos.  I love CALM...

It has me wondering at all the women who seem to have it together.  They seem perfect at everything they do.  I have a friend like that.  Her house is always immaculate, she works full time, has kids, etc.  I have come to the realization that I, most definitely, can not be perfect at everything.  Maybe mediocre, but I am not perfect or wonderful at any one thing.  I am not an expert, I am not a pro, I am not a Super Mom...

I am just me...

Monday, March 1, 2010

More Reds and Yellow

The red and yellow hues spice my life like the savory flavors of cayenne and ginger. They make an interesting combination and my eyes are drawn to those colors. Yellow is happy and red pops. Over the years my taste in colors has evolved. I don't imagine I will be forever in this color scheme, but for now it brings happiness and sunshine to my soul.  Especially on these cold winter days...

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