The Year there were NO Stockings Hung With Care

Life is complicated you know?  Here it is December 23rd, and I still haven't gotten all my decorations out.  I mean getting decorations out would have meant cleaning out a closet in order to access the bulk of my decorations and who has energy for that.  Not me, not lately...My kids just realized that the stockings aren't hung from the chimney with care.  Nope, they are not there.

I'm not being grinchy...just overwhelmed.  We put up the tree because it was in the garage and a small box of red balls that I could reach in that blasted closet.  But that was it...I happened upon a Christmas clearance sale and bought some pinecones and woodsy animals all under $20.  Then in my sacred, few and far between sitting down moments, I made that pom pom garland.  Wallah, Christmas decorations, and a nativity, of course, because I love my Savior.

Here it is December 23rd, the day that has traditionally been set aside as the day of baking and Christmas movies with my daughter, but I made 5 visits today to families trying to spread my Christmas cheer...plus a dentist appointment.  Now I sit on the floor surround by gifts to wrap and there are things to bake, and dinner to make and I feel so completely and utterly overwhelmed and am wondering where is my Christmas cheer.  Did I give it all away?    I know I have lost sight of what this here holiday is all about.  I mean my shoulders are only so broad to carry what I carry and do what I do.

We all struggle with this and that, but this year has been a little more difficult for me.  I suppose I have forgotten my own advice from years past and it feels like sucking on lemons.

The End?

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It is with a heavy heart that I have come to the decision that this may be the end of blogging for me.  I have been blogging since 2008, and have thoroughly enjoyed this writing outlet, however recent activities in my life may need to become a priority.  I am running a youth organization.  It takes a lot of brain time for the planning and time, time for the activities and meetings.  It is a good thing, and I am excited about it, but I just don't think I'll have the consistent time to devote to my writing here on this blog.  It is hard to put blogging on the back burner.  I have loved it and the friendships and relationships I have formed.  However, I don't look at it with the same passion and burning desire that I have in the past.  The spark just isn't there, my creativity is lacking.  As I move forward into a different chapter of my life, I will do so with that word of the year and Be Brave.

I plan to continue posting letters from Miguel so that family and friends who wish to, can keep up to date. Perhaps every once in a while I will post on MMB, as well.  Regular, consistent posts from me will be rare.  I do plan to stop in from time to time and visit your blogs and comment.  Please don't un-follow me, if you like me as a blogger and person.  If after a month or two I change my mind, I want to know you are still out there.  You know a girl can change her mind...

Is this the end?

When Someone is Suffering...

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We've all been there, and offered to give help and serve those in need..."If you need anything...Just give me a call."  But the thing is, when you are the one suffering, you really don't want to put someone out...and sometimes you are in so much pain...just the very act of thinking about what you need becomes painful.

After having experienced what I have over the last few months, I wanted to share some thoughts and ideas I have learned about helping and serving those who don't ask.  No longer will I say, "If you need anything...." Because now I know specifics I can focus on...

• an offer of a ride to an appointment - there were a few times my husband went to work late to drive me to therapy appointments.  But there were also a few times, I had to do it myself.  This meant not being able to take the medication that helped to control my pain.  
• Meals are nice, but really my husband and daughter had it covered.  He's picky and I have food allergies...but dropping by a treat says "Hey I was thinking of you"
• Offer to run to the store and pick up some things
• Texts 
• Phone calls 
• prayers and fasting
• Play Words with Friends or another game just to keep them involved.
• I was incredibly lonely...I would have loved it if someone came over to watch a movie or just talk

I know I'm not the only one who has gone through a trial like this.  

What things have you learned about service?

Mosiah 2:17  "And behold, I tell you these things that you may learn wisdom;

that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings

ye are only in the service of your God."

Absenteeism, Back Pain and other Random Stuff

I've been absent from the blog world, at least last week.  You probably didn't notice much difference because of that lovely little thing referred to as 'scheduling posts in advance'.  Yeah, I was gone last week at girls camp.

Would you believe in the weeks prior to girls camp, I began having back problems?  I'm a wait and see kind of girl, thought it was stress, and Friday before Girls Camp, I figured it was time to hit the doc and have a look see.  There wasn't much he could do Friday afternoon with me leaving on Monday morning.  Thank goodness for some powerful drugs and an air mattress.  I did survive girls camp, though at times I'm not sure I was blooming where I was planted.  I was not able to go on the hike with the girls.  If I had tried, they very well may have had to two man carry me out of the mountains.

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No, I stayed back and relaxed with a friend who drove me to town for lunch and fresh salt water taffy in McCall.   Ah, the life...The girls were jelly, just sayin'.

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Now that I'm back, the doc sent me to a Chiropractor.  I've never been to a Chiropractor before...In all honesty I thought it was hocus pocus stuff.  But you know what, my spine is all out of alignment as well as my hips.  I saw the x-rays, it's true.  And if my doc recommends it and the insurance pays for it, it can't be a hoax.  And you know what else?  I felt amazingly better after one visit.  It is going to take more visits than one to fix my issues...dang desk job, but I'm on the track to recovery.  I only wish I had taken care of things earlier, then I could have gone on that hike.  See what I missed?  Aren't they beautiful girls?

And then after Girl's Camp was over, they released us all as leaders to give others the opportunity to serve.   I guess they thought we were tired after all that work...This release has been so bittersweet.  I'm not gunna lie.  But, well, I guess I can focus on my back recovery and maybe some things I have neglected around the house....

Service and Doormats

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Ann Voskamp recently wrote these very wise words on her blog "service isn’t about being a doormat but about being a door for joy to walk through."  There have been times in my life where I felt like I was being a doormat or being used by someone and that isn't a good feeling.  

There was that one time a lady asked me to come do her dishes because she was bit by a dog and her husband wouldn't.  I had two little boys at home in bed and my husband worked nights.  Or there was that other time a lady asked me to babysit her children.  I had literally just had a miscarriage and she knew it.  She needed me to watch her kids because her husband was in the hospital.  I did, in all honesty, feel like a doormat.  Couldn't someone else do it?  Sometimes others can't see beyond their own struggles to notice yours.  But, that's not their problem.  I learned in those moments of service, that it could have been worse.  I may have lost a baby, but I had two beautiful boys at home AND a healthy husband who was not in the hospital.  God teaches us while we are serving.  I've realized it's all about our attitude towards others and their requests.  Certainly, I prefer to see a need and act on it first before being asked, but my reaction and attitude to requests is in MY hands.  

When someone asks me for help or I give service voluntarily, I want to be that person who brings joy when I walk through that door.  

Cookies of Love

They were twelve and thirteen years old...these girls who laugh, giggle and love their Heavenly Father.

They wanted to do something special for someone.  What could be more fun than decorating Christmas cookies and delivering them to some special recipients.

That grandma who lost her only daughter this year.  When the girls sang, she cried.  They smiled knowing that they brought her a bit of joy in the sorrow.

Then there was the widow.  Eight young girls on her porch singing Christmas carols and delivering thoughtfully frosted cookies.  Her broad smile and invitation to come in and visit just made their day.

I have so much to learn about joy in service.  

These young girls who I teach, yes, they teach me, too.  

What can I give to Him?

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Amongst all the glitter and wrapped gifts during this season of love and joy, I find myself contemplating what can I give Him?  What can I give to Him who gave the ultimate gift, who paid the ultimate price?  My heart yearns to be able to ask Him, what do you want for Christmas, dear Brother?  As I minimize Christmas and the excess it brings,  I do not want to minimize Him.

What Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh can I give Him?  In a sitting down moment, I list what I think I have given Him this year.  I gave Him my son, literally.  I gave Him my son for 2 years preaching the Word of God.  Two years!  Sometimes I miss him so much I cannot breathe.  But is this enough?  I give my Savior my devotion...I am devoted to His words that I read every day.  I am devoted to Him in Testimony as I bear witness of Him and my beliefs on my blog.  And, I am devoted to Him when I serve and love others.

Giving a gift to Christ on Christmas is not a once a year event, it is an every day event.

• It is life changing and yet it is quiet.  
• It is thought provoking and it is peaceful.  
• It is understanding and love.  
• It is service and allowing others to serve.  
• I show Him my gratitude as I strive to live in Thanksgiving Daily
• It is forgiveness of others and being forgiven.  
• It is being an example to others in thought, word and deed.
• It is giving up things, even when it is hard, even when it is your son.

Yes, I want to give Christ a gift, not today, but every day.  

What gift are you giving to Christ all year?

Enjoy Your Life

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I came across this video and spiritual thought recently.  It is so important to enjoy the little moments in life, because they are those that make up who we are and what we will become.  They really do make up our life.  So much time is wasted while looking ahead to the future and not appreciating what is right in front of us in this very moment.  Often we waste time staring at a screen whether it is the computer, TV or phones.  Believe me, I do...As we look for ways to live in the moment with the ones we love, we are in turn serving the ones we love.  I believe time and love are some of the greatest acts of service and most definitely what I am truly grateful for.  I plan to unplug today.

31 Days of Faith {We Believe 3...}

"We believe that through the atonement of Christ all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel."

My husband grew up in another faith, and he says that he doesn't remember really ever hearing about the Atonement even though it is accounted for in the New Testament.  Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints focus on the Atonement. Atonement can be broken down as "at one."  Christ was at one with us in the Garden of Gethsemane as he bled and suffered for our sins, sorrows and trials.  It is through the Atonement that we can be forgiven of our sins and ultimately saved.  There is so much more than just believing that contributes to being "saved". As a truly converted follower of Christ we will WANT to do good and kind things for others:  helping the needy, giving of our time and sustenance, giving comfort. Also, practicing forgiveness ourselves towards others who have wronged us. When we emulate the Savior in our lives, we can more fully partake of the Atonement. We do not believe that good works gets us to heaven, His grace IS sufficient.

I often see bumper stickers and church signs in the area where I live that say, "If you can earn it, then why did He die." That is a common misconception about the LDS faith. As stated above we do not believe we can earn it but only that we should be doing as much good as possible to spread the love of God.  We are his helping hands here on this Earth.

**I am not an official spokesman for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  

If you would like to read our official doctrine concerning grace, you can go here.**

Ladybug's Message of Validation

I am so grateful that Ladybug is in a school that doesn't JUST teach the academics, but works with parents to help in raising moral and caring citizens.  She goes to a Charter School that was started by parents who found the public school system lacking in those social, moral values.  I like to explain it to people like this:  Her school doesn't just teach high quality academics but concentrates on moral development in a non religious way.  If you are familiar with the YMCA and their core values (Caring, Honesty, Respect,  Responsibility, and I'm going to add here:  Leadership), then you will understand.

Ladybug came home from school recently to show me a video she watched in class on youtube.  I had to sit down and be willing to devote 16 minutes to it because it was that long, but it was easy to do because it is so worth the message.  You'll see why.  When we speak kind words to each other, we are serving our Savior and following in his ways.  As we build each other up, we are making the world a brighter place.

I'm loving this video...check it out!  And, Ladybug, thanks for sharing...

Small Acts of Service

Recently I taught a group of 8 and 9 year olds about service.  We read in the scriptures about following Christ's example to serve others.   And how when you serve others you are serving God. We made cookies, put them in cute bags with tags that read "You Make Me Smile".  I asked the children who they were going to give them to...One little girls, said there was a lady across the street who was older and lonely, and she wanted to give the cookies to her.  She got it!

While the cookies were baking we watched this little video about how even children can make a difference.  I believe as we teach even the youngest children to serve and love others we can make a difference in this world...One child, one smile, or one cookie at a time.

Have I Done Any Good?

In keeping with lasts week theme of the Kindness Experiment and in serving others, I was totally inspired by this song.  I couldn't have been more inspiring than these two beautiful singers, Carmen Rasmussen Herbert & Alex Boye.  If you want to skip right to the music video portion skip ahead to 2:42, and then go out and do some good.

The Kindness Experiment

I shared this experience with my husband recently and he said, "Oh gosh, you aren't going to blog that are you?"  He thought my story was cheesy.  But not only that, I don't like to talk about good deeds.  I have stopped following people on facebook or blogs because they are overly braggy about their good deeds.  In my book, that kind of detracts from the acts of service if you have to toot your own horn.  Ultimately the only person who matters in knowing how you treat others is our Savior. Hebrews 6:10 "For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister."

I recently read on Positively Alene that she wants to do a Friday link up of kindness acts to inspire each other.  I think the difference between inspiring and bragging is all in the wording.  So in order to participate in her link up, I am going to concentrate on my wording here as to be inspiring not braggy.  Getcha?  Gotcha?  Good!  

When I was a little girl, I learned this catchy little song at church.  It went something like this...

♫♫I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see...

So I say to myself, remember this, kindness begins with me♫♫

I loved that song and would sing it to myself sometimes to remind myself to be kind and helpful to others.  

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I was at the grocery store recently, and let me preface that I HATE the grocery store.  People are in a hurry are generally rude, and personally I can't get out of there fast enough. There was this woman and her friend/sister I'm not sure, but as I passed them down the aisle of the store their carts were doubled up taking up so much of the aisle that every time they came toward me, I would have to squish myself up against the canned goods or whatever.  It was one of my invisible moments, I assure you.   I found myself feeling ugly inside.  My rude thoughts consumed me.  I was frustrated, that they were in their own world and did not see me!  As I was approaching the last aisle of the store, I turned the corner and there they were again. It was then that the words to this childhood song came back to me, ♫Kindness begins with me♫ This time I decided to change my attitude.  I looked at woman who was smack dab in the middle of the aisle right in the eye and smiled real big at her.  I tried to look at her with love. And do you know what happened?  She smiled back and moved out of the way!  

This isnt' groundbreaking or earth shattering but it's implications and lesson in my life can be life changing.  It's that even the smallest acts of kindness can reap huge results.  In my case, a small smile from me, reaped the result of being seen....of the woman in turn moving out of my way instead of the other way around.  This was my experiment in kindness.  

How have you seen kindness work in your life?