Exclusion and Seasons

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Feelings of  exclusion as opposed to inclusion, whether purposeful or not, can be quite detrimental to my psyche, no doubt.  I've found lately that I don't  quite know where I fit in.  I mean with both of my boys out of the house and out of state and my one VERY special and QUIET daughter living at home, the dynamics that were my life and my roles are changing.

I belong to a Church that preaches and respects the divinity of motherhood for which I am most grateful and thoroughly believe.  But...I'm still a mother, yet the demands and needs of mine are vastly different from what they were say, ten years ago, and sometimes I just don't fit...

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Often times when I go to Women's Conferences or Church activities so much is focused on raising little ones, as it should be, but there is a group of us that are sort of lost and neglected.  I suppose I can relate to those women who don't yet have children; we can relate on a certain level, and that is the feeling of not belonging or the lack of inclusion.  I am happy in my new phase, don't get me wrong, but a little guidance in how to make that transition smoother would be much appreciated.

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For instance, I love the quieter, unhurried pace that I now experience.  But at the same time, I miss the energy that it and my boys brought as well.  A dichotomy?  Yes!  I am a Pandora's box of emotions where these dichotomies are concerned.   My house is almost always tidy and clean.  I dreamed of these days, but now in my afternoons when I come home from work, I need to find other hobbies.  As if cleaning were a hobby!

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To clear things up, I'm not complaining.  My glass is half full, trying to find the rainbows type of thing, but a little help, suggestions and guidance on what the heck to do with the rest of my life would be most welcome.  I find comfort in the words in Ecclesiastes 3:1-12:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.  What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?  I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.  He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.  I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life."

How do you handle the changing seasons of life?  

When Someone is Suffering...

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We've all been there, and offered to give help and serve those in need..."If you need anything...Just give me a call."  But the thing is, when you are the one suffering, you really don't want to put someone out...and sometimes you are in so much pain...just the very act of thinking about what you need becomes painful.

After having experienced what I have over the last few months, I wanted to share some thoughts and ideas I have learned about helping and serving those who don't ask.  No longer will I say, "If you need anything...." Because now I know specifics I can focus on...

• an offer of a ride to an appointment - there were a few times my husband went to work late to drive me to therapy appointments.  But there were also a few times, I had to do it myself.  This meant not being able to take the medication that helped to control my pain.  
• Meals are nice, but really my husband and daughter had it covered.  He's picky and I have food allergies...but dropping by a treat says "Hey I was thinking of you"
• Offer to run to the store and pick up some things
• Texts 
• Phone calls 
• prayers and fasting
• Play Words with Friends or another game just to keep them involved.
• I was incredibly lonely...I would have loved it if someone came over to watch a movie or just talk

I know I'm not the only one who has gone through a trial like this.  

What things have you learned about service?

Mosiah 2:17  "And behold, I tell you these things that you may learn wisdom;

that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings

ye are only in the service of your God."

Lawrenceville Rocks! {Miguel's Missionary Moment}

Letter Dated 8/12/2013

"Whats up fam,

Well these past two weeks have been pretty sweet.  Lawrenceville is a pretty awesome area. We have had about 12 new investigators in 2 weeks, and we have a kid named Zion ready for baptism on Sep 6th.  He is legit!  His grandma is a member, and she referred us to him. His mom isn't interested, but she is allowing him to be taught.  He is a really cool kid.  Zion is from New York so he has a heavy accent. We also have a couple named Zay and Sharee and their 2 year old son Jeremiah that we are teaching.  We taught them their first full lesson yesterday and Sharee, the mom teared up, it was sweet!!  A guy named Harry showed up to church, and we weren't even expecting him.  He loved it, so we are excited to teach him more. Tomorrow we are teaching another family, the Bradley's, who I haven't met yet.  They were found when I was working with another Elder. They sound legit! And, we are teaching another lady named, Renee, on Wednesday.  She has 4 kids.  

So everything is going great!

These are some funny pictures! I promise will write some letters. I have just been super busy!!!! but ........

Elder Hamer out!"

 

Confessions from the Floor

When I was broken, the most comfortable position I could find was lying on the floor on my stomach...Yeah I spent a lot of time there...And I have some confessions to make

1.  I watched all three season of Downton Abbey on Amazon Prime using only my free trial and then canceling.
2. I read so many books that I can't even list them
3. I showered but didn't shave...I just couldn't bend that way 
4. Makeup?  hahahahaha...yeah I was scary looking
5. I thought I was tough.  Now I know I'm a blubber baby.
6. I crawled, a lot.  I think I may have worn holes in my pants
7. While lying on the floor, I saw everything I couldn't do that needed doing.  Like pet hair in the carpet, floors needing to be washed.  When you are that close, it's just gross.
8. I think I wore the same comfy/stretchy pants over and over...
9. Talking to your animals like they are people might make you certifiably insane.
10. I lost my independence and I didn't like it.
11. I will admit to being a kind patient.  Despite my pain, I didn't let it affect my attitude when my family was around.  

What confession do you find most shocking?

The 8 Miracles

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After writing this post recently about being so blessed, I thought I would be remiss if I did not list those blessing and miracles one by one.  I know that He has His hand in all and that He sometimes uses His earthly angels to fulfill His miracles.  I am eternally grateful for the blessings that He sent my way.  

1. The mod pack.  I took a steroid pack that eased the swelling and back pain just long enough to get me through the busiest part of the school year and registrations before my back got bad again.
2. When it got to the point that I was crawling, my husband ran into a friend of mine at the gas station.  She gave him the name of a massage therapist that does pressure point massage and helps to relieve sciatic pain.  After one of these massages, my pain was slightly relieved for a few days.  I was able to sit in a chair and eat with my family.  Needless to say, I scheduled another
3. A friend who is a physical therapist offered to come to our home for free and show me some basic moves that might help.  This is who showed me that lying on my stomach might be the most comfortable for my bulging discs and pain.  This is basically where I remained until surgery.
4. When I called for a consultation with the surgeon, I was told they were booked out till January (this was the beginning of September) but had just had a cancellation in mid October.  They put me at the bottom of the cancellation list.
5. Four hours later, I received a call from the Neurosurgeon's office.  The receptionist said, "You wouldn't believe it, but I have been through my whole cancellation list and you were the only one who answered the phone.  We can see you tomorrow morning."  
6. I was told that insurance approval could take 10-14 business days.  I got approval in one and my surgery 4 days after approval.
7. I got paid my full paycheck despite being out of work for three weeks and not having sick days since I'm only part time.  What can I say...they love me.  
8. Quick recovery...I was back to work one week after my surgery.  Though I have to be careful and modify what I do, I see this as another miracle.  

During the course of some of my reading over the past few months, I learned that 8 is a significant number in Christianity.  What I read regarding it's significance is that God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th.  The 8th day was for rebirth.  Thus, many ancient baptismal fonts are 8 sided, an octagon.  After these 8 miracles, I feel reborn physically and spiritually and thus the rebirth of my blogging, as well.   

Have you seen the influence of God working in your life, too?