Third year in a row...

Remember when TJ graduated, and then Miguel?  Well, last night we attended another graduation.  That would be the third year in a row...This is for my son who isn't really my son.  But we say he is because he is at our house a lot and he eats a lot of our food and we love him.  So that pretty much qualifies you as a member of our family.  And he makes us laugh, so yeah, you are in....A lot of times I'll walk out of my bedroom in the morning and there he is crashed out on our couch.

 B-Lew!!!!  We knew you could do it.  We are so proud of you!!!  

We enjoyed a little BLT last night.

No more Taco Bell Arena for four years.  You know until Ladybug graduates.
Unless, of course, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood or Rascal Flatts comes to town.
Then all bets are off...

2 Down, 1 To Go

Turn down my music player at the bottom of my page to hear Miguel's grad video.

A Sitting Down Moment

Sometimes it is hard to find just the right words. But in spite of writers block, I persevere to find the words that express the exactness of my intent. It is when I delve into the depths of my emotion that I feel the true inspiration, and it is then that it hits me. One more Grad down, one to go.

As I sit here in the solitude of my room in a quiet moment to myself, I hear the clock tick. It's minute, infinitesimal movements slowly mark the passage of time. It ticks away the seconds, minutes, days, months and years. Where have they all gone?

Almost exactly one year ago I wrote a piece called "Bottles, Bibs and Diplomas". In this blog post,  I expressed the sadness I had over the loss of Air Force Man's childhood. I thought that perhaps with each child and the passing of time it would get easier. I want to say that I was wrong. It does not get easier, NO, not easier. My emotions bubble close to the surface as I contemplate the future: graduation, college, a church mission, marriage. The mere bubbling of emotions for me is a difficult feat so you KNOW this has got to be tough.  Scratching away at the surface, I am wearing away thinner and thinner.  Miguel is moving further and further from being my baby and closer and closer to the independent man that I hope I have prepared him to be.  I am proud of him.

As graduation this weekend grows, and the company comes to visit, and the barbeques are had, this last final moment of his childhood may slip away in the mass of events without notice.  Like the blink of an eye.  I blinked again...     

Seminary Graduation

When you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, you don't just have the opportunity to graduate High School but to simultaneously graduate from Seminary. Every day for four years, LDS youth attend Seminary. Seminary is Church classes taken off campus as an elective during the school day where they study from the scriptures, learn of church history, fellowship and perform service. Just yesterday, Miguel Graduated from Seminary, and in a few short days will graduate High School. May I be the first to say, Congratulations Miguel! And, we can't believe you really did it!

Bottles, Bibs and Diplomas

When I was younger, I thought motherhood was exhausting, I often got discouraged thinking I'd never get any sleep or anything done. I remember someone telling me that it feels like you are in the phase of "bottles and bibs" forever, but really it's just a blink of an eye.

I blinked

and now my oldest, TJ, just graduated High School. I remember holding him as an infant and looking into his newborn eyes.  I calculated when he would graduate.  2010.  2010?!  How could that be? It was 1992 and so far away...

Now there is a different kind of exhaustion associated with having a graduate. I worry did I teach him enough?  All that self doubt plagues me. He keeps later hours, comes and goes. He is an adult now. Letting go and allowing him to be the adult, I hopefully prepared him to become, is so dang hard.

He is the child that taught me to be a mother. We learned together, he and I. I think letting go of him will be a little harder because he is my first. With each child, perhaps it will get a bit easier because I will have had that experience. Or maybe it will just get that much harder as I move away from this phase of my life and closer to the empty nester phase.  With his graduating from High school, perhaps I have earned my diploma, as well. My Motherhood degree with a minor in MRS. Am I finished?  I HOPE NOT!

As I sit here lamenting the passing of his childhood, I realize I still want him to need me. I'm not quite ready to let go completely. My longing doesn't last long as I hear him calling and asking if I can make him something to eat or are his work clothes done. I know I should make him do some of these things himself, and he does, but I want to hang on just a little bit longer.