When I was younger, I thought motherhood was exhausting, I often got discouraged thinking I'd never get any sleep or anything done. I remember someone telling me that it feels like you are in the phase of "bottles and bibs" forever, but really it's just a blink of an eye.
and now my oldest, TJ, just graduated High School. I remember holding him as an infant and looking into his newborn eyes. I calculated when he would graduate. 2010. 2010?! How could that be? It was 1992 and so far away...
Now there is a different kind of exhaustion associated with having a graduate. I worry did I teach him enough? All that self doubt plagues me. He keeps later hours, comes and goes. He is an adult now. Letting go and allowing him to be the adult, I hopefully prepared him to become, is so dang hard.
He is the child that taught me to be a mother. We learned together, he and I. I think letting go of him will be a little harder because he is my first. With each child, perhaps it will get a bit easier because I will have had that experience. Or maybe it will just get that much harder as I move away from this phase of my life and closer to the empty nester phase. With his graduating from High school, perhaps I have earned my diploma, as well. My Motherhood degree with a minor in MRS. Am I finished? I HOPE NOT!
As I sit here lamenting the passing of his childhood, I realize I still want him to need me. I'm not quite ready to let go completely. My longing doesn't last long as I hear him calling and asking if I can make him something to eat or are his work clothes done. I know I should make him do some of these things himself, and he does, but I want to hang on just a little bit longer.
I think our boys always need us! My daughter is the one who is grown already and she is 14.
ReplyDeleteYou are way to young to have a graduated teenager! But congrats to your boy.
ReplyDeleteWow! Congratulations on your graduate! What a trip! Time really does go by too quickly!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on getting #1 through high school! That is worth congratulating yourself for! It does go by super fast doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteBut don't be too sad, he still needs you & you are not done yet. (Take it from me, mine are 23 & 27) My eldest is getting married in a few months & we are thrilled!
Yay for grown-up kids!
oh I am feeling you!!! My oldest baby graduated last year. I just dropped her off for summer school at her college a couple of hours away. It was hard all over again!
ReplyDeleteMy 'baby boy" is 40! I still cluck over him and spoil him whenever I can. I hope he never really grows up in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed you piece. The photos added so much.
Lovely piece about such a bittersweet moment. Mine just graduated from college, and you are right, it does seem to fly by in a flash. Visiting from WOW, I really enjoyed this. Kathy
ReplyDeleteI'd love to comment but I can't see the keyboard ,my eyes are all blurry. Beautiful piece and congratulations. Stopped by from WOW to say hi.
ReplyDeleteaw that's sweet! that must be the hardest part of being a mom, is learning to let go, i don't know that i could do that! happy to have found you from WOW
ReplyDeleteAarrghhhh! Now that I'm not looking forward to. My step son turns 16 tomorrow and I'm not ready.
ReplyDeleteOh such a sweet post! The calendar tells me I am years away from this moment but I know, as you say, it will be just a blink.
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS day!
I loved the bottle & bib faze...now almost 5 & 2- I love this stage. I hope they stay little for long and that it doesn't go as fast as everyone says!
ReplyDeleteWishful thinking!
How sweet. Love your blog! Happy SITS day!
ReplyDeleteSo sweet. Having been there, I can completely relate. But you wrote it so much better than I could have. Happy SITS day!
ReplyDeleteSuch a moving post. My boys have many school years ahead of them, but like you said, I still feel time passing in the blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteThis really got to me. My son is 2.5 already. Every day something is different...and for some odd reason I don't expect it to be. I wonder if I'll remember everything and I hope that I am saying, doing and acting in the right mind set. I freak out every time I think that in less than 2 years now he'll be in school. I cry...and then I smile. Cause he's mine, I know he'll do well. Thanks for sharing your story! =)
ReplyDeleteLove this entry! I think about this stuff all of the time. My son is 2.5 now...it is hard to believe in less than 2 years he'll be going to school. I wasn't ready to be a momma...I wasn't ready for him to have to go to daycare (had to have brain surgery....TWICE this year) and I know I won't be ready for him to go off on his own. Mom's are forever though... It is the ONE title we never retire from. I'm glad. =)
ReplyDeleteThis made me tear up ... my by is (literally) growing up before my eyes and before I know it, it will be 2019!
ReplyDeleteI have two that are graduated. My third is about to be a senior in high school. It does mess with my mind.
ReplyDeleteThe first graduation was tough. But the hardest day for me, so far, was when my oldest went to Russia for four months to teach English. The first one to leave the state for real and she goes to the other side of the world? Not fair. Without Skype I don't know that I would have made it. I don't know how you missionary parent make it. My son is nearly 16, so at least I still have some prep time. I don't think any of his older sisters are leaning toward a mission.
This was a great post for me to read as a mom to a toddler and a teacher to high school seniors, it helped bring my worlds together. So sweet! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sweet. I couldn't wait to come over from SITS and read this post in particular. I have an boy and I can't believe he's already 8 months. I don't even want to think about him graduating (2028 if I did my math right, can you believe it?!) but I know it will be here before I know it!
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS day!
Hi, I'm visiting from SITS. I have small children and even now, time seems to be racing by! I can't imagine how I'll feel when my oldest graduates from high school. I don't blame you for hanging on - I know I'll want to, too!
ReplyDeleteAugh! Yeah, my daughter just today went off to her first overnight camp...for a whole week! I'm as torn as when she outgrew her crib. Stop growing up already!! But...it's so good to see them grow at the same time. What a hard balance, letting them grow up...
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Reminds us to make most of each moment with our babies. Time just flies. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS. You said it well and it hit a nerve because I'll have a high school graduate in 2 short years. It sounds so cliche but where does time go???
ReplyDeleteTime does disappear quickly. Continue to enjoy your children. Enjoy your SITS day.
ReplyDeleteStopped by from SITS and will be leaving in tears as a follower : ) My oldest starts preschool this year and I am so afraid to blink!!! I couldn't agree more with learning how to be a mother from your first baby. I love both of my babies, but my oldest and I share a special bond because he is the one who gave me the gift of motherhood. Thanks so much for this post : )
ReplyDeleteMelissa from www.figuringitoutaswegrow.blogspot.com
Time really does fly and sure does feel like a blink. It's crazy. Kids make time go warp speed.
ReplyDelete