Monday, October 17, 2011

A Pocket full of Pasties

I went to visit my grandmother recently in California.  That one word alone ought to be revealing enough.  There are so many "Characters" in Cali, that this shouldn't have shocked me.  But still....I regress...

We took a family road trip to go visit my grandmother in her assisted living facility.  As there was quite the crowd, me, my kids, my parents and KT, we opted to do our visiting in the "Library" a public location with lots of seating.  A sweet old lady walked by using her walker.  Sweet is a real stretch of the word...She passed by checking us out.  Everyone there is curious about everyone else's business, due in fact, more than likely to boredom.  Sweet old lady came wheeling by again and walked right up to my husband and said,

"Are you wearing any underwear?"

You read that right!  I just busted out laughing, my poor little Ladybug started blushing and Miguel, he was just like, "Awkward".  KT wasn't wearing anything that would suggest otherwise.  She made small chit chat with my tolerant husband which I heard nothing of due to my laughter.  Grandma leaned over to ask me, "What did she say", because you know no one can hear in those places.  And when you talk to them, you have to say everything really loud

"Grandma, she asked if KT was wearing underwear!!!"

Of course, Grandma's response was "Oh Good Heavens!"

Little old woman wheeled herself off for 15 or 20 minutes to work the circuit, then I heard her say "Where is that young man!"  Here she comes again.  

"Have you ever been to a stripper?"

At this point, I lean over and tell Ladybug that she should probably plug her ears.  "Sweet" little old grandmother leans in trying to show off her saggy cleavage.  I left KT on his own with that one. No Joke, She proceeds to tell my husband how she used to be a stripper, how she made $500 off a guy once and how she would carry a pocket full of pasties.  She all but stopped short of asking him up to her room.  

So the next time you see a "sweet" little old lady, she could probably be a "Spicy" old washed up stripper, cougar, trying to get your husband to her room.    

Thanks for the laugh Virginia...

And in case you were wondering, here's me and my grandma post laugh, ie. sexual harassment


  1. I don't who to feel sorrier for. Your husband or your kids. That is hysterical and so embarrassing too!!

  2. Hahahaha oh dear! I guess us Californians ARE really weird...

  3. OMG! That is hilarious and mortifying! But I guess you have to give her kudos for having the self confidence!

  4. LOL I love those little old ladies. I just lost my Grandmama at New Years, but MAN she could tell it like it was. Amazing, strong, and beautiful woman. Looks like yours is too!!

  5. Oh my goodness! I would have rolled! Here's hoping I have that much sass when I'm older, minus the stripper part. Lol

  6. What a riot! I probably would have died a thousand deaths from embarrassment,but it definitely makes a great story!!

  7. Truly one of the best blog posts I have ever read! I have to follow you now so I don't miss any more! Thanks for giving me a laugh today!


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