January Funk

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Sometimes January just feels downright oppressive.  It is dark and cold and I don't exercise like I should and sometimes I just feel trapped.  The darkness of the short days in January weigh heavy on me, like a burden on my back.  I don't understand it.  It is just as dark in December, but we have such wonderful things to which we look forward.

January is just January.  

I try to find the beauty of January, the snow covered ground, icicles, frosty tree branches, but the underlying factors or overlying factors are all still there.  I express gratitude for those beauties, but I still just feel sad.  My husband comes home from work and asks me why I am angry.  But, then I feel angry because after almost 24 years of marriage you would think he could read me and see that I'm not angry but sad.  He wants to know what he can do to fix it.  But is there anything one can do about January?

I am in a funk.  January is funky.

I am so looking forward to February.  Not that there is anything special about February for me.  We really have never celebrated Valentine's Day.  February is still dark and cold, but it is one month closer to Spring...one month closer to warmer days and more sunshine.  I have been trying to decorate for Valentine's Day despite the fact that I haven't in the past.  It is giving me something to anticipate.  Maybe it is time to change up our anti-Valentine's Day traditions.  Love and hearts and pinks and reds make me happy.  (so does chocolate)

Seeking Wellness

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A Girl CAN Change Her Mind

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Back at the beginning of the year, which totally seems like ages ago, I picked a word of the year:  Wellness. What you don't know is that I had a word choose me, but I totally ignored it because it seemed too easy, like something I already had down.  But, I have decided that part of my creativity block may very well have to do with not choosing the appropriate word.  The word that chose me is Gratitude.  I feel like I already have a thankful heart.  But a talk I gave in church and later posted on my blog, (part 1, part 2, part 3), was planted like a seed in my heart and would just not let go.

I am therefore, changing my focus word to Gratitude in hopes of honoring what maybe God has chosen for me and putting my stubbornness aside.  I'll still focus on my wellness but perhaps not in such a public format. I even have a few Wellness posts written and scheduled.  I'll still post those, because I took the time for them, but after that, my one word focus will be Gratitude, because a girl CAN change her mind. Let the creativity of posting flow again....

Have you ever felt a word calling to you?

Last year, for me, it was Simplify.  

Miguel's Missionary Moment

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Hello Family & other people,

This week was pretty uneventful, not much happened.  We talked to a lot of people, got rejected a lot, and had appointments canceled, you know,  living the life of a missionary! I'ts amazing and I love it! (not even sarcasm, I really do love it.)

But, these past couple weeks have been different.  I can't tell you when it started, but i have been doing a lot of reflecting about myself; thinking about who I am, why I am on a mission, and why God needs me here. Something has changed...I'm no longer obedient so that I can stay under the radar. I no longer contact people on the street because it is something that I'm suppose to do, I no longer teach the stuff I believe, I teach things I know.  I am no longer looking to the end. I don't know...something just came as a realization to me.  My life after my mission doesn't matter.  Being the first missionary in my family, doesn't matter. I don't need to be amazing because of that.  I don't have to work hard because I'm in love with a girl back at home that I may never see again, and I work hard to not think about that.  I'm not trying to get back home anymore.  This is not about me anymore. 

Yes,  I'm still Miguel, but that's on the side now.  Yes, I still miss everyone. Yes, I still Love Jenny. Yes, I'm still the goofy kid who does dumb stuff all the time, my companions can vouch for that!  I still love everyone and every thing in my life. But, I have come to the realization of how blessed I really am.  I have so many abilities, talents, blessings from God that make me a good missionary without really putting that much effort into it. Everyone who really knows me knows that I have confidence problems. They know I get down on myself, and they know I'm kinda of spaz. But, I have come to realize that this is not about me. I don't worry about what I'm good at anymore. I don't worry about if I'm accomplishing what people expect of me. I'm not worried about never seeing certain people again. I am worried about not being the best missionary I can be. I am worried about my stupid confidence problem, my stupid worries about life after the mission, and all the things that hold me back from finding everyone the Lord needs me to find.

I know that the Lord has confidence in me, and I know that He knows what I can accomplish.  I  know He wants me to be an amazing missionary.  I know there is a plan for me after my mission, but I don't know what it is.  I don't know who I'm gonna marry, I don't know what I'm gonna do for work, but I have finally realized that it doesn't matter! I only have 17 more months to be Elder Miguel, to be the Elder Miguel God needs, not the Elder Miguel I aspire to be, but the Elder Miguel that God expects me to be. God has given me so much! I was looking at myself in the mirror and realized I'm tiered of being what other people expect of me. I'm  tired of worrying about everything back at home. I know what God has given me.  I know that my duty right now is to be a missionary and everything else will come. God has promised me things, things I want so much, but it is my duty to be worthy and diligent enough to receive them, Alma 37: 16-17 has become my favorite scripture:

But if ye keep the commandments of God, and do with these things which are sacred according to that which the Lord doth command you, (for you must appeal unto the Lord for all things whatsoever ye must do with them) behold, no power of earth or hell can take them from you, for God is powerful to the fulfilling of all his words. For he will fulfill all his promises which he shall make unto you, for he has fulfilled his promises which he has made unto our fathers.

The Lord will fulfill his end but we must accomplish our's. I know that what I am doing is right.  I know that everything else will fall into place.  I know that the Lord has confidence in me!  I don't know a ton, but I know this Church is true, I know it has been restored to the earth through a prophet of God.  I know The Book of Mormon along with the Bible are truly the words of God, and I Know That Jesus Is The Christ. 

Elder Miguel 

2 Nephi 1: 21-23

And now that my soul might have joy in you, and that my heart might leave this world with gladness because of you, that I might not be brought down with grief and sorrow to the grave, arise from the dust, my sons, and be men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity; That ye may not be cursed with a sore cursing; and also, that ye may not incur the displeasure of a just God upon you, unto the destruction, yea, the eternal destruction of both soul and body.  Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust.

Let it melt, Let it melt, Let it melt

It snowed on Christmas Eve, then again on New Years, and it hasn't melted yet!  I'm sure you think, "Hey lady, you live in Idaho, what do you expect?"  But it has seriously never stayed like this before...at least not in Southern Idaho.  We usually get a snow and it melts off by noon.  This snow has stayed because of the single digit freezing temperatures we have been stuck in for nearly a month.  Brrr. We haven't been able to take down our Christmas lights, not because we are lazy, but because of all the ice on the roof.  This weekend it is supposed to warm up to 37°.  I don't think I've ever celebrated 37° before.  It's almost tropical!  Time to take those down!

This is what happens when it's been foggy and freezing.

Kind of a pretty effect to this chilly weather.

Speaking of shaving yesterday,

KT had to shave off his goatee for work.
  

Now he remarks that his chin gets cold.  

Ya think?

Mustaches

I Mustache you a question...

Nah, I'll shave it for later.

This little lady had the stomach flu on Christmas.  I felt so bad!  We left to spend Christmas afternoon and evening with family leaving this little sweetie alone.  No one wants to be alone on Christmas.  Lucky for her, she was better the day after, so really she had two days of gifts because she got to go over to Grandma and Grandpas the day after for presents and left overs.

On Christmas we got to talk to Miguel, our Missionary.  Well, really we got to Skype with him which is so much better.  He is in Georgia, and we miss him a ton.  I'm grateful to see that while he is growing in the Gospel and out serving the Lord, that he hasn't lost his sense of humor.  I mean, God must have a sense of humor, he made KT.  Just sayin'

Now back to the question I mustache you...

What was your favorite part of the holidays?

Football for Christmas

Yeah, It's true!  It's almost February, and I am going to make a Christmas post.  That is because I have had creativity blockage.  Back in December I posted about some Flexibility having to do with the Holidays, because I'm pretty much a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas.  But, by the kindness of a friend, we were in possession of 5 free tickets to the Maaco Bowl in Las Vegas to see our favorite BSU play some football the Saturday before Christmas....a 12 hour drive.  Christmas in Vegas?  I wasn't so sure, but the promise of seeing my Grandmother in California the day after the game had me consenting.  Besides, I came to the realization that I was probably the only one who cared about those silly traditions.  We were to drive home on Christmas Eve.

As it turns out a major storm watch was in effect for Utah (our route home) on Christmas Eve.  So, (more flexibility here), we packed up a day early without seeing grandma to make it safely home.  We still hit 2 hours of blizzard, but that was far better than twelve.

I really should get some kind of award here.  But, time with KT, Air Force Man, Ladybug and BLT was time well spent.

FYI, BSU won!  So worth the trip...

Mom's Need Hugs, too

Military Man came home for Christmas from the Air Force.  I posted on facebook, "My Christmas present comes tomorrow. It's about 5'10 and 165 lbs. it's a big present..."   I was pretty excited!  (obviously).  KT likes to take pictures of TJ hugging his mama.  Because, let's face it, man boys really don't like to hug their mama's.  It's an aversion to them.  It must make them a sissy man or something.  But, Mom's need hugs, too.  I'm more than happy to snatch up those special "I'm so glad to be home" hugs.

It's Boring on my Blog

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"It's boring on your blog"...That's the message I got from my husband the other day.  Quite frankly, I'm surprised he reads what I have to say.  I mean since I get the absent minded husband nod a lot of times when I talk.  Maybe that is why he doesn't listen, because he can read what I have to say.  Since I'm not posting, he actually HAS to listen.  Sorry, KT, I'll try to make life a bit easier for you.  

So, for my husband and others who may think "It been boring on your blog lately."  I will recommit to get over my creativity blockage and strive to be more into sharing what's on my mind whether it be "sparkly" or the nitty gritty.

Have you missed me, too?

Wait, don't answer that!  

I don't know if I actually want to hear the answer.    

Miguel's Missionary Moment

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"Yo family!

What up! So this week was a good week.  I have been focusing every week on what I can do to improve, and I feel like it has helped me a lot. Elder Goodman finished his two year mission this week, and he told me the night before he went home thanks for helping him work so hard it meant a lot. Elder Goodman was one of the best elders in the mission. He told me that I have something 99% of the mission doesn't have, the ability to work all day everyday. That if I can just keep getting better I can be an amazing missionary.  It meant a ton! He became one of my best friends out here. I was super bummed when he went home. He was a stud and we got a long so well.  Elder Goodman and I taught a lesson to like 4 investigators in one day and another two the next day.  We have an investigator praying for a baptismal date, Charlie, the guy we started teaching last Sunday. He has progressed so much...He could not understand why we needed Joseph Smith.  We taught him almost every day, and he has gone from not really caring about the Book of Mormon and he now says he can't put it down. It has been so crazy! He is praying about the 27th of January so we will see what happens next time we teach him. I love being a missionary! It is awesome! I miss you all I'm working hard and I love you!"

~Miguel

Disenchanted

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Lately, I feel disenchanted with blogging.  The thought of coming up with a post seems more of a chore than being creative.  More of a to do than a hobby.  This makes me sad, as I have loved blogging over the years. Maybe I just need to take a creativity break.  Take a step back and reevaluate where I am going with this thing.  After my thoughts the other day, I hope you understand.

So as an ardent follower, I hope you will continue to wait for me as I take some time to regroup.  Perhaps it is all part of my personal Wellness campaign.  Finding my balance...

Have you ever become disenchanted with blogging?

What did you do about it?

Miguel's Missionary Moment

This week, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I dont really know how to put it........................ pretty awesome! Elder Goodman and I have been working really hard to find new people to teach, and the area has just picked up a ton. Today we have 4 appointments in a row and another 2 tomorrow. It is so busy and I love it!

So, first today we are teaching a kid named Danthany who we found tracting (tracting is going door to door looking for those interested in learning about the Gospel) and then a guy named William who I found by tracting. Then we have dinner with a family that is investigating named the Mullers.  They were referred to us by members, and we are teaching them for the second time in a member's home,  so that is exciting. And tonight we are teaching a guy named Charlie. He is dating a member and he has been anti church for a long time. Last week he was out hunting and just felt like his life meant nothing and decided that he should really look into the church. We actually taught him yesterday and it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my mission. He said he feels torn between his past life, and he feels like he already knows  the Church is true but he has been taught so much against it. It was amazing. I love being a missionary. Well I'm doing great, I hope you are all doing well I have to got to a teaching appointment I love you."

Miguel

And an e-mail received from a family in his area:

"We enjoyed a delightful evening with your missionary.  We had dinner and then participated as he taught  a first discussion to a friend of ours.  He has a beautiful testimony and is a great teacher.  The spirit was here and hearts were touched.

Thanks for sharing him with us."

An Illusion?

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I read another blogger's status on Facebook the other day. The blogger commented that we "Mormon Bloggers" were producing "sparkly" blogs that tend to create an illusion that everything is perfect.  I am a Mormon blogger.  I blog about things that make me happy.  I've always figured that the problems in my life are mine and they are personal, not to be blogged about for all the world to see.  She commented that people were joining the LDS Church based on Mormon bloggers. Then when things weren't perfect according to their perception, then they became disillusioned with the Church.

Just because we are members of the LDS church and blog about happy things does not mean that bad things don't happen...that we don't still have personal struggles.  For instance, my 20 year old son was just in a serious car accident in New Mexico.  He spent a short time in the hospital.  His car is totaled because some idiot rear ended him going 40-50 mph.  As a mother I was beside myself with crazy worry.  I still am...I just made an emergency trip to California to see my dying grandmother.  Saying goodbye to her and flying home was a really hard thing.  Bad things still happen, hard things still happen.  Focusing on the positive happy things uplift me and hopefully uplift others.  There is enough bad stuff going on in the world, it is nice to have a place of happy refuge.

Let me say a few things...I would be over the top excited if someone became interested in learning about my Church because of me.  But, I would not want someone joining my church because of me.  Does that make sense?  When you make a life commitment like that, committing to a religion, committing to God, that has to be for you and no one else.  You have to know it.

Since her post, I have felt frustrated with blogging.  I feel like perhaps people are looking at me and fellow bloggers under a microscope.  I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated and trying to pinpoint my purpose for blogging.

Have you felt these same frustrations? 

What is your purpose for blogging?

Yoga and Wellness

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I've been practicing Yoga for several years.  My work schedule usually keeps me from participating in classes in the morning.  Since the start of the year and my goal word of Wellness, I have made it a point to attend three Yoga classes.  Some benefits I have seen that Yoga has created for me:

• The obvious more flexibility
• Increased muscle strength
• Toning
• Stress relief
• Working on my body balance
• Better sleep
• And because Yoga focuses on what your body can do, I think I am happier and have better self confidence.

Now Yoga isn't the only thing I do.  I also enjoy running or interval training.  Yoga has been a good balance for me.  It opens up and stretches what the running tends to compress.  I plan on attending classes or using my Yoga DVD's more often this year.  Yoga helps me connect my mind, body and spirit for overall wellness.  

Happy New Year: Word of 2013

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Happy New Year!  As we begin anew and make resolutions and goals, I have been thinking on my 2013 word of the year.  I have spent 2012 working on Simplify  my word goal.  I feel I have made great strides in that area and plan on continuing on in my quest for Simplicity.  My 2013 Word of the Year is (drum roll please)..........................

Wellness

Medical Dictionary

wellness  well·ness (wěl'nĭs) 
n. 
 The condition of good physical and mental health, especially when maintained 
by proper diet, exercise,and habits.

The American Herita

For me, Wellness will encompass so much more than just working out.  I will seek wellness and physical well being in all aspect of my life....Spiritual, mental, physical, nutritional, emotional and relationships....basically a Wellness Balance between all aspects of my life.  

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What is your 2013 Word of the year?