Retirement? Seriously?

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I am seriously considering retirement. Not the REAL retirement, come on people, I'm only 42 years old. But, retirement of my blog. (Boo Hiss) I know, such a let down. Fact of the matter is, life has taken over and perhaps my run at writing and humor has come to an end. I mean who really cares what I have to say anyway?

So this whole retirement thing may possibly be temporary because I am a woman and it is my prerogative to change my mind. But, the pressure, oh the pressure, of a neglected blog has just been too much. The pressure was too hot and mama was cooking. You know what I'm sayin' right?

Anyway, adios, buenos dias, au revoir. 

Until we meet again....

But, in all honesty, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. 

Just ask KT...

See you soon.

While Sitting on the Toilet...

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I bet that got your attention. Yeah, It got mine too. Like the other day, while I was visiting with the porcelain God, there was this loud pounding on my door. Ladybug answered it, unfortunately, and it was angry neighbors. Neighbors that were angry that my 18 year old was driving through the neighborhood at 25. Wait, isn't that the speed limit? Moot point!

Whilst I was sitting, I heard this yelling from my front door. I figured I couldn't leave my 13 year old hanging and putting up with strangers, so I walk to the front door and say, "Why are you yelling at my daughter?" Then these guys turn on me and proceed to teach me a lesson on morals. Turns out Ladybug knew where I was and when these angry dudes asked for me she told them I wasn't home since she didn't want to embarrass me on the crapper and all.

I proceeded to get a very lengthy LOUD lecture on how my kids are out of control and I'm a bad parent. You know...my lying 13 year old and my speed limit driving son (who does happen to thump very loudly with his bass). But, does that seriously make me a bad parent? Did they need to continue shouting at me till I cried? So condescending!

Enter here, KT, AKA Bulldog (he was a Marine) I called him crying whilst he was at a scout service project (You know we are the evil, bad neighbors). He came home fuming that someone would have the audacity to yell at his little girl (and the love of his life, ME). So, yeah, he marched down there and had some pretty loud words. So loud in fact, the neighbors wife called the cops. Interestingly it didn't bother her one bit that her husband yelled at a little girl. (Which by the way, should be illegal. Just sayin')

In case you were wondering...
We are now the neighborhood white trash. 

But at least I know KT's got my back.

A Pioneer Trek

Ladybug and Miguel were able to participate in a Pioneer Trek to Martin's Cove this summer. What is that you say? It is an opportunity for them to dress like pioneers, and pull handcarts 20+ miles in Wyoming. Where is the joy in that? Well, it is a wonderful "Come to God" experience. Their testimonies grow, they learn to work together and help each other AND they gain a greater appreciation for the religious sacrifice of our ancestors. Now, I did have to hone my sewing skills for Ladybug's pioneer skirt (don't laugh), grandma made the apron and I BEGGED someone to make the Pioneer bonnet for me. See, I can delegate! Miguel, no sewing required...

A Retraction

A retraction is necessary on this day in history, well it is probably over due. KT has been hounding me for a public apology for this post for quite some time.  Let it hereto henceforth be known that I am having an affair.  I'm sorry, it's true!  It's pretty Mickey Mouse if you ask me...Very innocent, but I can't seem to stop.  I have traded in this:

this:

 and this:

For this:

 
YEAH BABY!

Mormon Mommy Blog

I have a confession to make.... 

I am a Mormon Mommy Blogger. 

If you are a usual follower you may have already figured that out, but I just thought I'd make that confession.  I am actually closer to a Mormon Empty Nester Blogger, but hey, I'm still a Mommy.  I'm even part of a community called.......

wait for it....... 

wait for it........

Mormon Mommy Blogs.  Shocker, right?!

I recently read an online article about a Non Mormon Feminist, Emily Matchar, and her take on Mormon Mommy Bloggers. I was actually quite impressed by her insight, understanding and acceptance. But, then I read the comments, and Gag me! I hate mean people. Seriously. So I stopped reading those nasty comments.

A good many of those comments related to Polygamy and how the Mormon Mommy Bloggers are not telling the full story.  That we are secretly part of polygamist families and just not telling you.  The LDS church does not believe in nor practice polygamy.  I have one husband and he has one wife (ME).  Even members of my own family have made comments about us being polygamists, cultist, pagans and members of a colony?  Say what?  I hope that the way I live and act is an example of my true lifestyle.

I have to admit I have a small list of reasons 

WHY I don't make a good Mormon despite my strong convictions in my 

Church and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

1.  I do not can fruits, vegetables or anything like unto it.  

I canned freezer jam once, and I still have a bunch.  

Somehow my family prefers Smuckers.

2.  I barely garden

3.  Sewing?  Yeah right! Give me a freaking staple gun.
That's more like it...

4.  I have an addiction to Diet Cherry Pepsi

5.  I have piercings

6.  I have a love of beautiful tattoos.

7. I use expressive words that may or may not be offensive.

See?  We are not perfect nor profess to be.  

Mormon Mommy Bloggers are pegged as being perfect, eternal optimists with their "nothing goes wrong" attitudes.  And that is simply not true.  Well, some of us like to paint rosier pictures than others, but I would say that we choose to focus on the positives in our lives.  That is what makes us happier in the long run.  Just ask Oprah...I've done my share of complaining on my blog.  Holy Flippin' Fetch?  Seriously!  I have...

Like when my oldest son, TJ,  left home and joined the Air Force.

When my husband took a group of scouts  

camping on our Anniversary

I've complained about being 2busy 

(which by the way is slowing down now)

Car trouble here, here, and quite possibly here.

There are so many more.  Just try looking under my label Sarcasm

So the point is, we are normal people, leading normal lives, not everything is perfect all the time, but we try to be happy and cheerful.

If you are interested in what we believe 

and not the often times drivel
put out by people who profess to know, 

you could go here.  

Or you can read some things I have written here.  or here.

My life is an open book or blog.  Truly...