When I was a young mother, I had to go to church by myself. I remember being 7, 8, 9 months pregnant and trying to deal with a 12, 13 and 14 month old TJ in church. He was busy and wanted to squirm around on the floor. Bending over to get him was most difficult when he misbehaved. My boys got their training young on irreverence.
As they got older, I tried to contain them. I would take one out of church who was acting up. I didn't let him run around and play like the other kids, no, that would be a reward. I would sit and hold him tight while he struggled to get away. A sweat would break out of my forehead while trying so hard to teach my boys to sit still and listen. I would often wonder what in the world I was doing there. I received no spiritual fill with a toddler squirming and making noises in my arms.
Thankfully, KT started attending with me when the boys were toddlers. But, that almost made things worse. Now I had three boys to contain! I remember one time sitting in church I was holding onto Miguel as he tried leaning toward the bench of people behind us. He was a heavy little bugger. With some bad timing on my part, I bent over to pick up a dropped toy just as little Miguel went in for the lunge. Without my arm across his back holding on to him, he flew into the bench of people behind us hitting his head and ultimately landing on the ground. If you know Miguel, you'll understand...
Now, years later, rolling my eyes, I still wonder what I am doing sitting there in church. What am I getting out of a meeting besides adventures in
gummy bears, paper air planes, sticking thumb tacks under their skin,
changing the words of hymns while singing...Oh, and if you haven't had an old man gnaw on your knee during church, you need to come sit with me! This is what I consider my ultimate failure as a mother. Respect for the Lord in his House. But, maybe I can just blame it on KT.
