'Tis the Season...For Weddings? and Advice

Source

It seems I am getting invitations to weddings left and right this past month.  College students getting married between semesters, I guess.  'Tis the season....Bright eyed brides and grooms staring lovingly into each other's eyes.  Their lives spread out in front of them, blue skies ahead!  But once that shiny newness wears off, the dress hung up and gifts put away, life gets real, you know?  I mean it is normal to have arguments and get irritated and want to quit from time to time.  Sometimes I think the most valuable gift we could give a newlywed is advice.  Really, sound, time-proven advice would be priceless.  If I could tie it up in a nice pretty package with a ribbon on top, this is what it would look like, but since I can't here are ten tips I would pass on to newlyweds if asked.  It has worked for me, and so far I have survived almost 26 years of marriage.  Yes, I said survived, because sometimes it is bliss and sometimes you have to just muddle through the rough patches.

1. Always keep Christ in your marriage.  Stay equally yoked in your religious beliefs.
2. Kill him/her with kindness even when you don't want to be nice
3. Relationships are more important than being right
4. Don't run home to mommy every time you have an argument.  In fact, unless there is abuse, keep disagreements private between you and your spouse.
5. Always hug each other when you come home.
6. Laugh together, often.
7. Persevere, press on
8. When you have rough patches, remember what you loved about each other
9. Share a hobby or interest
10. Date!  Fall in love all over again.

There you have it, my unsolicited, possibly unwanted marriage advice.  Here is some other advice I've blogged about in the past.

What advice would you add to this list?

Anniversary Advice

Today is my anniversary.  KT and I have been married for 24 years.  That's a long time especially in dog years, but I'm not saying we're dogs, just that its a long time.  It isn't always easy even though sometimes it might appear to be easy.  I'm married to a pretty opinionated guy, and pretty much he is always right even though he's not.  The motto that has helped my relationship survive this long is:  Relationships are more important than being right.  

A few years ago I also offered up this advice on making it work.

And also I described my marriage here.

What relationship/marriage advice do you have to offer?

 

Mother's Marriage Advice

Source

My mamma always said, "Life is like a box of..."  wait a second that wasn't my mom!  No, my mom said, "Always put your makeup on and look nice for your husband because there is always going to be someone lovelier than you at his place of employment".  "Jeesh!  Mom!  Thanks a lot!"  Was my first thought, but, this lady knew what she was talking about.  She has seen marriages dissolve through the years and some because the wife didn't take care of herself.  That's not saying men don't have self control, because they do, but I should always WANT to look my best for my husband.  It's easy for young mamma's to want to stay in sweats all day or skip the shower because there isn't time.  FRUMPY!  Your man didn't marry a frumpy woman.  Besides, looking your best and getting dressed makes you feel better about you, too!

I read this article once...in 1994 when my boys were one and two years old.  It really blessed my life and gave me a different perspective on being a mother.  I truly love the advice found here and applied it to my life often.  Here is the article.  You can read the original here.

"My Career—Motherhood

I have often thought of the similarities between a career in the work force and my chosen career as a homemaker. I have found that when I think of motherhood and homemaking as my profession, I am more satisfied and fulfilled with my choice to stay home. Here are some ways I treat my chosen career with respect.

Dress for success. Many professions are associated with a certain style of clothing. Although my clothing style changes depending on what I do in a given day, I avoid dressing sloppily. Wearing a touch of lipstick or a dab of perfume helps me have a positive attitude.

Continuing education. People in the work force must keep informed of new developments in their field in order to maintain their credibility. It’s no different for a homemaker. New ideas for child rearing can give practical help in maintaining discipline, understanding our children’s development, and helping our children develop spiritually. Workshops, seminars, books, magazines, and television documentaries are some resources I use that add to my understanding of my service.

Many professionals attend annual conventions to associate with colleagues and to keep abreast of current issues. Next time you attend a monthly homemaking meeting, consider that you are taking part in a homemakers’ convention. One purpose of these meetings is to help you have greater success in your career.

Break time. A ten-minute break in the morning and afternoon and an hour at lunch is a common part of many work schedules. Homemakers also need breaks to avoid feeling burned out in their career. It is important to me to take regular breaks from whatever I’m doing to write a letter, call a friend, read a book, push a swing, or sing a song. Children benefit from a change of scenery and the day’s routine as well.

Association with colleagues. An advantage many people enjoy in the working world is the opportunity to meet and associate with other adults. I need this association as well. Spending day after day with no one but my little ones to talk to can bring frustration and discouragement. I have learned to create opportunities to enjoy adult conversation and friendships through experiences such as exercise classes and visiting with another mother at a nearby park while our children play. These and other activities supplement my lifestyle and bring greater contentment to the time I spend with my children.

Wages. Although there are many ways that homemakers can save money, the real wages aren’t paid in hard currency. I like to think of being paid when I watch my babies learn to walk, when I can care for a sick child all day, when a school child runs home to show me something he made in class, and when I see the joy in a child’s face as she tries on something I’ve sewn for her. It’s important to notice and appreciate things that are of an eternal value.

Recognition and appreciation. Motherhood and homemaking occupy positions of honor, but recognition and appreciation are often slow in coming. On days when I feel discouraged and unappreciated, I love to read scriptures such as Doctrine and Covenants 122, especially verse nine: “Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; … for God shall be with you forever and ever.” [D&C 122:9] Studying the gospel and learning of my worth to God give me assurance that my efforts in my chosen career are worthwhile.

I have learned to cultivate a positive attitude toward my chosen profession of motherhood. I find great joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction in the important work I do in my own home.—Karen Peterson Mosley, Tucson, Arizona"

You can read some other advice I received here.  

Just FYI, the good advice came from my mom.  

The other advice came from someone who shall not be named.  

Can you say embarrassing?

Mothers are Smart Cookies

In light of the fact that Mother's Day is coming up, I thought I would share some sound advice I've received from my mom.  I don't often talk about my mom on  my blog.  Maybe it's because she is so much like me or I am like her, or perhaps it is because she avoids photographs like the plague leaving me nothing to blog about.  The one thing about my mom is she is ALWAYS right.  There is no arguing it, even if I am right.  I have learned that relationships are more important than being right.  However, when I was a young woman preparing to get married and start my own home, she gave me some advice that has stuck with me.  It is been tried and proven by me so I am, therefore, passing it on to you, and it is RIGHT.

#1 Always make your bed.  I was like, are you serious?  Because when I first got married I was kind of housekeeping lazy.  I liked a clean home, I just didn't want to be the one to do it.  She said even if you have a layer of dust, that made bed will make your room look put together.  She even suggested starting to make it before even getting out of bed...pulling up the covers, smoothing and straightening.  Then, just slip out and put on the finishing touches.  I'm addicted to a made bed now.  When I have over slept and don't have time, I have been known to come home in the afternoon and still make my bed even though I will by messing it up just a few hours later.  I'm pretty much obsessive about it.

#2  Never clean your kitchen first.  Her words..."You'll never leave".  It's true!  I can remember as a young mom how often I was getting snacks and drinks and meals...It was like I never did leave.  If I start my cleaning in the bedroom and work my way out, then more of the house gets clean.  My goal is to always go to bed with a clean kitchen so I'm not tempted to start there in the morning in the first place.  Who wants to wake up to crusty dishes anyway?

Source - and definitely NOT my mess

#3  Wash as you cook.  While I'm cooking, I wash dishes as I go.  I try to always have a sink full of soapy water ready to wash the prep bowl or that utensil.  When dinner is done, I might have a pot or two, then rinse and load the dishwasher.  This has been especially helpful with holiday meals.

I'm grateful to my mom for the things she taught me.  She might have thought I wasn't listening at the time, but I definitely was learning from the best.

Advice

Photo Source

BAD advice from someone who shall not be named...

1.  You should probably get a separate checking account now so you are covered WHEN you divorce. (Yeah, let's go ahead and plan in advance for failure)

2.  When your husband stops satisfying you, you can sit on the washing machine during the spin cycle. (What the crap?  Really people?)

Now here is some GOOD advice I've received.

3. Even if you are sick, always get up and shower.  You will clean the germs off and always feel better when  you are clean.  I have crawled to the shower with influenza and used all my strength just to shower, but it really does work.

4.  Even if you are a stay at home mom, it is important to always put your make up on and do your hair.  Your husband will always work with women who are made up and beautiful and you don't want him to be disappointed when he comes home to a frumpy wife.  Always put yourself together.  I have heeded this advice unless I was pretty sick, but even then I got my shower as noted above in #3.

What advice, good or bad, have you been given?