Are you ready for this? I have some killer advice. Just consider it sound because I am old and have lots of experience. And here it is...."Expectations" has become a dirty word to me. Especially when it is accompanied by self. You know, Self Expectations? I have so many expectations of myself to make the perfect Christmas: Gifts, pretty packages, treats, experiences, parties, obligations. All these things cost me something...my sanity. And, in return this costs my family.
I wrote last year about
Flipping the Bird on the whole Christmas experience, and while I didn't actually Flip it the bird, I think a better wording, a less offensive wording, might be letting go of my expectations. Those self imposed expectations...all the "need to do's" really drive me crazy. I had just a bit of that guilty nagging feeling the other night, like I needed to be doing more. So, I've started making a list at the end of the day so I can see that I actually AM accomplishing something. Take that other evening for instance, this is the list I came up with that actually shocked me:
- Had a meeting with the young women from church to plan December activities
- Read Luke Chapter 2
- Went to church
- decorated the Christmas tree
- watched a Christmas devotional
- visited with some missionaries and gave them a treat
- worked with my daughter on a church goal
- prepared missionary son's Christmas gift box to be mailed.
- Cooked dinner
Once I realized how much I had actually accomplished, the guilt quickly dissipated And you know what else? I'm saving this list and the list from each and every day during this time. It is so cathartic, it is such medicine to my soul. If you have issues like me, you know, thinking you need to do more? My advice? Write down what you actually do...every bit of it, and let go of those stinkin' self expectations. I've decided that my family prefers a sane mom who can laugh and have fun than the one who feels like an uptight loser making all her unrealistic mental lists and feeling like a failure.
That is all...
I love this idea!
ReplyDeleteIt is important to give ourselves credit for the things we do, even the little things, especially in such a hectic and busy time.
We never really think about what you accomplish in a day. We only focus on what we don't get done. I may have to do this. Start making a list every day next year. Great idea! Visiting from SITS
ReplyDeleteGreat idea. I've felt that way many a day. One time when I was really sick, my husband took over. When I recovered enough to take care of more things, I saw just how messy the house had gotten while I was sick and I started to realize that I actually did get something done. I'd rather not get sick again to remind me, so I like your idea better.
ReplyDeleteAll great thoughts! Following you from MMB. Love the Washington D.C. Temple picture, that's where we were married! :)
ReplyDelete