Monday, August 30, 2010
Dear Bloggers Anonymous,
I have this uncontrollable urge to share my personal thoughts with strangers. You've heard of diarrhea of the mouth? Well, I have diarrhea of the keyboard. I am excessively typing out posts about anything and everything, and sometimes nothing, in a very Seindfeldesque way. My private thoughts, musings and dirty laundry are all out there and "I'm loving every minute of it!" (That's a Seinfeld quote).
I check several times a day to see if my fellow bloggers have updated their sites. I lose myself in their lives, feeling more normal by the second. I smile, laugh and cry with them. Don't get me started on moderating comments. Comments make my day. It means someone has taken the time to read my post, and spend a few moments reflecting on some kind of message to leave for me. I am salivating just thinking of it.
I am seriously in need of some sort of 12 step program. How about you?
2busy (and if I must add, if I'm 2busy, shouldn't I just cut out blogging?)
Friday, August 27, 2010
This is one of my most favorite women. She is my grandma. She has a special knack of making all of her grandchildren feel like they are her favorite. She always made time for me. I loved spending summers with her when she lived in Iowa, sitting on her porch swing in the evening and listening to the locusts. She taught me to play card games and scrabble, and she never tired when I would beg another game.
For her 65 birthday, she let my brother and I drag her to a water park where she proceeded to do all the slides. When she was 76, she took me and my boys, ages 3 and 4 at the time, to Disneyland. She never let the fact that she was aging slow her down. Until now...Grandma now sits in an assisted living home in California waiting for visitors. She isn't all there anymore. It makes me sad, and I visit as often as I can, but distance precludes me. We have begged her to let us move her closer, but she wants to stay in her home state where the majority of her family lives...Today she turns 91! Even though she won't read this I wish to say Happy Birthday to the best Grandma ever...
Monday, August 23, 2010
I am emotionally constipated. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. That's just the way I am. It took a lot of years to train myself to be this way without even realizing it. When I was little, my mom used to tell me to quit being such a Sarah, quit being so dramatic. I didn't know who Sarah was, but I figured out it was some dramatic actress. As a teenager in an up and down relationship, I began to stifle my emotions a little bit more. I learned not to ride the waves and tides. I began to take control.
When I met KT, he was a Marine. I would often reach to hold his hand or put my arm around him and was quickly put in my place. I'm a Marine...No PDA's (public displays of affection). When I was a young mother in the hospital having my second child, I was asking for an epidural. The hospital told me "No", you are a Marine wife, you can tough it out.
Through the years I have taught myself not to cry or show emotion, as emotion is a sign of weakness. I am not weak. Once a Marine always a Marine...Once a Marine Wife, Always a Marine wife...
Things have been changing lately, though. My once secure cork on my emotions is starting to loosen. These emotions of mine want to bubble up and overflow. It is the changes that are occurring. A high school grad, another Senior...It's getting the best of me...I have a decision to make. Do I let it flow or do I push that cork back in?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I've recently lost a couple of followers, so I suppose that I should pop out a couple of posts just to keep everyone baited. School started back up, and I have been busy doing Registrar stuff and anything and everything like unto it...
I had to speak today in church. Talk about anxiety attacks! I could have said, no. Maybe I should have said, no. But, I am trying to set a good example for my kids. I was asked to speak for 12-15 minutes on how to receive personal inspiration. 12-15 Minutes! I can't even get my dear KT to listen to me for 12 to 15 minutes. I encouraged everyone to turn down their hearing aides, take out the baby or just take a nap because I am used to not being heard. Unfortunately no one took my advice. My condolences to them! Well let's just say "I wasn't feeling so SURE", my palms were sweaty an my legs were shaking. Public speaking is not my first love, now that's an understatement. Gratefully, it's over and I'm crossing my fingers I'm not asked to speak for another seven years...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
I know what you're thinking...I don't really have a date with him but I do have his concert marked on my calendar (September 23rd, in case you are wondering). You know, I have won some things in the past, but never a radio call in. AND Never concert tickets! I won 3rd row tickets to his concert Friday morning from WOW104.3. They ROCK! (I might add). If I wasn't already married and he wasn't married...We'd be married...I'm just sayin'...And, KT's okay with that because he knows where I'm at every night. I might ogle the guy, but I go home with him...
It's Friday the 13th and I feel lucky! I think I should play the lotto. What do you think?
Friday, August 13, 2010
Has your readership dropped off? Mine has...Is it summer or is it just me? It isn't a popularity contest or anything, and I mostly write just for me, but I love feedback. Did I ever mention that I love comments? Well, I do...That's how I can tell you've been here...That and my counter at the bottom. But, let's just say that comments are a little more rewarding.
I have to admit, myself, that I have not commented my fair share over the summer. I really haven't blogged as much, either I just had so many outdoor things I wanted to do. Like just be outdoors in the sunshine. Hence, my slacking...Maybe I'm not as interesting and entertaining as I used to be...
What say you? Have I become boring or have you just been pretty busy, too?
Monday, August 9, 2010
It is in moments like these that I find my inner peace. It is quiet in my home. Not one person awake but me, well, except for KT who leaves for work so darn early. But, he's gone...I hear the cheerful chirping of the birds outside my window welcoming the day. The soft hum of the fan is comforting. It is a time of spiritual reading in my scriptures and reflection. It is when I feel my inner peace. It is my most favorite time of the day. Unfortunately my favorite time of the day is now numbered. Children will be back in school, I am returning to work today....Busy mornings will replace my quiet solitude. And, because I can't get myself out of bed at 4:00 am to regain my solace, I will have to find another time for my reflection and pondering. It's no wonder that Summer is my most favorite time of the year...
When do you make time for you?
How do you find your inner peace...
How do you find your inner peace...
Friday, August 6, 2010
When I was a little girl we had a swimming pool. We rented my grandma's house, and we could go swimming anytime we wanted, just walk out the back door. When we moved to a new house, we were right up the street from Newbury Park High School. NPHS was blessed to have not one, but two outdoor pools. My mother would give us our admission money and my little brother and I would head down the street hand in hand for a full day of swimming and sunning.
A move to Colorado took away our blessed pool so close. Nearly everyday in the summer my mom would get up at 6:00 am exercise, clean house then devote the rest of the day to us. She would pack up a lunch, all the floaties and we would load up in the car for exotic destinations like Cherry Creek Resevoir and Chatfield Resvoir.
When my boys and Ladybug were little we went to Eagle Island State Park everyday in order to keep the house quiet for their night working daddy. Later we went to Roaring Springs and then my parents pool across the street. These days, the parents have moved and the boys are older. A suggestion of "Would you like to go to the 'rez'?" would be met with protests. What teenage boy wants to hang out with mom? So, Ladybug and I hole up in the air conditioning reading books and watching movies and remembering a life that used to be a lot more fun.
What do you do to stay cool?
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
like victims to ocean tides
round and round
we glide back and forth
across the floor.
The iridescent moonlight
illuminates the way.
Drunk with the evening.
Like a princess in your arms.
Dizzy with happiness,
You spin me faster,
faster as if I
were a child's toy
Spinning across the floor.
I catch a glimpse of us;
reflections across the Seine.
Slowly, the bands 16th century music
begins to unwind.
Short of breath, you,
my lover, embrace me.
As fairy tales end,
so does our midnight waltz.