WOW

Beautiful Idaho!  My dh took these pictures when he was on a 50 mile hike with a bunch of 16 to 18 year old boys.  I swear every time he goes on one of these he comes back with a near death experience.  He really is a city boy who unless he ups his life insurance is no longer allowed to go...  :)

Again? Really?

We are returning to the land of iniquity. We were there a year ago, and I thought I might never return. I have issues with crowds, you know. The allure of getting away sans children was just too overwhelming. (Would you believe I googled how to say "without" in French, because I forgot, and came up with a wiki article on how to french kiss? Merci buckets, oui, oui)  We are staying here again, because it was fab, I have to see her, I just have to, and I need to get me one of these because a girl needs her chocolate.  For our 21st anniversary we will be in Vegas.  Vegas baby!  What DO Mormons do in Vegas?

On another note, do you think I can get my darling KT to leave his mistress at home?  Highly doubt it!

My Husband's Mistress...

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I know you are all gasping right now, but it's true. KT has a mistress! I can you hear you now..."Cheat on you? There's no way..." I AM all that, and I USED to know where it was at, but, lately, I have been left doubting myself and feeling alone. He repeatedly chooses her over me, she is seductive and alluring, only giving me part of his attention. (I am an attention whore). Have I driven him into the arms of another? He has even tried to bring her into our bedroom, and to our bed no less. I hate her!

Damn iPhone!

(Gotcha!)

WOW

Wednesday's Open Window

During the warm summer evenings, there is no mistaking the stank coming from the feed lot three miles away when the winds are just right.  Holy Crap!  What's that smell?  For all my complaining that I don't live close enough to the country, I think this one seals the deal...

My Hero

My dad is my hero. He has been to hell and back and gratefully is still with us. He suffers everyday for the part he played in America's history. He is the man who taught me patriotism, love of country, selfless sacrifice and a deep love for my Savior. I want to be just like him...Thanks dad for being the best dad in the world and for teaching me how to be me! Happy Father's Day!

Dad's Chopper after he was shot down in Viet Nam

My dad being worked on after being pulled from the chopper.  He is on the ground on the right.  He had is ear shot off, his arm shattered by shrapnel and he had shrapnel lodged in his brain.  Very grateful that God blessed him to pull through, or I wouldn't be here.  :)

Work a 4 letter word...

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Work really is a four letter word...quite literally. Would you believe I love to work? Strange, I know. I love it when my husband and I are working outside side by side in the yard. Creating something beautiful, is a bonding moment bringing us closer together. Working side by side with my husband and children to tidy the house brings me great joy. Not only is my house getting clean in a fraction of the time it would take me, but we are feeling pride in our home and our hard work. Well, some of us maybe. I love the sense of accomplishment, of working together, and then, later, lying back and enjoying the fruits of our labor.

I can't lounge in the backyard or play a yard game if there are weeds to be picked.  I can't recline on the couch to watch a movie or read a book if the carpet needs vacuuming.  It's a sickness, I know.  I have a compulsion for tidiness.  Then those moments of relaxation are oh so much sweeter.   You see, I can't really enjoy relaxation until the work is done.  Can anyone truly understand happiness without the sadness, the good without the bad, their health without some sickness, relaxation without the work?  Life is all a paradox, is it not?

P.S.  I think I should give some props to KT.  

He sure married a freak...

Wait a second, is that a sock on the floor? 

WOW

Here is my first installment into WOW or Wednesday's Open Window...

You might live in Idaho if you get caught in a "tractor jam" on the way to Wally World.

Tats and poking the bear

My wild side really likes this. My sister in law has several tats my favorite being the daisy anklet. But don't go overboard, otherwise it can just looks like graffiti. When I lived in Hawaii, I dated a guy for like a month and he tattooed my name on his arm. He was an army guy from Colorado, so I guess he thought we were destined for each other. I just got creeped out and was finished after that. I had heard that he went back and had squiggly lines tattooed through my name to conceal it.  A group of girls from college went and got matching tattoos on their ankles.  Teddy bears are dumb...

Secretly I long for a tat in an inconspicuous place. I've mentioned this before. I will never follow through with my secret desire. My church teaches that our bodies are our temple, and I mostly agree. Besides, KT would probably have a fit! I want to get a temporary and freak him out. Wouldn't that be fun? Being an instigator can be terribly exciting.

Have you ever poked the bear so to speak? KT and I do that to each other all the time. For so long, I would just get PO'd at him. Now I just laugh and poke him right back. I sat through a church lesson recently that defined successful and unsuccessful marriages. According to the list, I have an unsuccessful marriage. My marriage is filled with teasing and sarcasm. The difference is we both know it is in fun. I think I would be worried if suddenly our marriage became tame and respectful. That is the zest that keeps us going. We were counseled to laugh a lot in our marriage...That we do!

Now the randomness of my thoughts has me concerned about my mental health.  How can you get from one idea to the other.  Point A to B.  KT says it's a woman thing.  He doesn't follow half of what I say.  I usually get the absent minded nod from him.  I know you know of what I speak.  That thing that husbands do when they hear you but not really?  Give me a nod if you understand.  That's right!

Moonlit walks

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 Many years ago I lived in the "arm pit" of America, a desolate place called Yuma, Arizona.  It was the kind of place that weather maps on the news show as VERY HOT.  Summer temperatures soar to 120°.  So miserably hot that if you walk outside at 6:00 am, you get goose bumps from the heat.  I know, weird.  I had two small little boys at the time, and, like most new moms, I wanted to put them in a stroller and take them for a walk.  Once the sun set, and the time read 10:00 pm, I would load my two babies into their double stroller for a walk in the moonlight with temperatures at a brisk 90°.  It's just what you did...

I never thought of romanticizing my experiences with my little men.  But they truly were my little loves, my little boyfriends.  I had many a slobbery kisses to prove it.

Woww or wow

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At one point in time, oh not so long ago, I used to do a weekly WOWW which stood for Words of Wisdom Wednesday. I love a good quote or saying. Mulling their meaning over in my mind is like savoring the flavor of the first bite of watermelon in the summer. It is juicy and exciting and my tastebuds go crazy. Anyway, back to words of wisdom...I've actually grown kind of bored with it and it will soon be replaced with Wednesday's Open Window. (Wow, not to be mistaken with Woww). This will be a photographic journey to my corner of the world. If it doesn't sound too boring, stay tuned...

True Feelings Revealed

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I'm not sure where the words are going to come from to express a recent experience I've had. I have to try to keep things as generic as possible. If you knew the specifics, you would understand why.

Someone who has known me for over 21 years revealed their dislike for me. Their colors were shining bright and true.  We were in the same room, and it just came out. No filter....What's the point in that besides hurting me? As I retreated away, the person came on the attack getting louder and getting closer. I don't know how to deal with things like that. I'm not into confrontation. All I could do was smile and give a stare down. I sit here with my mind full of things to say to this person now...hindsight is always 20/20.  The only thing expressing myself would serve to do is to sever a relationship that is not mine to sever.  I like to surround myself with positive people.  People who benefit me as much as I benefit them.  I don't have the time or the desire to be involved in a relationship like that; too much drama, but it is not mine to change. 

I think it is sad that someone could harbor those feelings for 21 years.  Our relationship was all a lie.  I think the sole purpose was to bring me unhappiness because I am a happy person.  Really, I pity you.  You who despises me.  I have forgiven you.  It is true.  I am that way.  Just because I have forgiven you doesn't mean I can trust you.  And, believe me, if it happens again, I won't hold my tongue there is no way in h - e - double hockey sticks that I'm going to let you chew me up and spit me out for a second time.

Another year older

Another year has come and gone. Age has a way of sneaking up on you in the middle of the night. It bites you right in the you know where so that you can't ignore it's imminent approach anymore. Today Miguel turns 17. Oh my how time flies. Wasn't he a cute, chubby, gurgly baby just yesterday? He had the cutest little rolls...Ah to remember...

So today I'd like to wish a Happy Birthday to Miguel! Even though he isn't a cute, chubby, gurgly baby anymore, I love him just the same.

Happy Birthday! Aren't you glad you're finally taller than your mama?

Bottles, Bibs and Diplomas

When I was younger, I thought motherhood was exhausting, I often got discouraged thinking I'd never get any sleep or anything done. I remember someone telling me that it feels like you are in the phase of "bottles and bibs" forever, but really it's just a blink of an eye.

I blinked

and now my oldest, TJ, just graduated High School. I remember holding him as an infant and looking into his newborn eyes.  I calculated when he would graduate.  2010.  2010?!  How could that be? It was 1992 and so far away...

Now there is a different kind of exhaustion associated with having a graduate. I worry did I teach him enough?  All that self doubt plagues me. He keeps later hours, comes and goes. He is an adult now. Letting go and allowing him to be the adult, I hopefully prepared him to become, is so dang hard.

He is the child that taught me to be a mother. We learned together, he and I. I think letting go of him will be a little harder because he is my first. With each child, perhaps it will get a bit easier because I will have had that experience. Or maybe it will just get that much harder as I move away from this phase of my life and closer to the empty nester phase.  With his graduating from High school, perhaps I have earned my diploma, as well. My Motherhood degree with a minor in MRS. Am I finished?  I HOPE NOT!

As I sit here lamenting the passing of his childhood, I realize I still want him to need me. I'm not quite ready to let go completely. My longing doesn't last long as I hear him calling and asking if I can make him something to eat or are his work clothes done. I know I should make him do some of these things himself, and he does, but I want to hang on just a little bit longer.